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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> John Mayer

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


Any Given Thursday album at Amazon.com
John Mayer's, "83"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Oh, make me a rat cage
I want to be uperman.
The Real Lyrics:
Oh make me a red cape
I want to be Superman.
The Story: When we went to the concert, in honor of our 'slower' friend. We yelled these misheard lyrics really loudly. We got a couple stares, but it was well worth it. You know you're a fan when you have inside jokes about songs. - Submitted by: Jamie Griebner
John Mayer's, "Bigger Than My Body"
The Misheard Lyrics:
This is a c*** who is colour-blind.
The Real Lyrics:
This is a call to the colour-blind.
The Story: I was shocked the first time I heard it. I didn't think John was like that, but I was certain it's what he sang. So I'd start singing after that line. - Submitted by: Jodie
John Mayer's, "Dreaming With A Broken Heart"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Do I have to fall asleep with bruises on my hands
The Real Lyrics:
Do I have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
The Story: That's pretty creepy to think of. - Submitted by: Bryan
John Mayer's, "No Such Thing "
The Misheard Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as a miracle.
The Real Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world.
The Story: I thought this guy was anti-Christian for a while, lol. - Submitted by: Aurora
John Mayer's, "No Such Thing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I just can't wait for my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust out the devil dogs.
The Real Lyrics:
I just can't wait for my ten year reunion
I'm gonna bust out the double doors.
The Story: I found out this was wrong when I said to my boyfriend: 'John Mayer better bring some devil dogs to his ten year reunion, because people will be expecting them.' - Submitted by: Kathy Keefe
John Mayer's, "No Such Thing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as a rail road
Just so I've got ride the bus.
The Real Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you've got to rise above.
The Story: For the first month or so of this song being on the radio, I could've sworn that the lyrics were about public transport. - Submitted by: PuffinFresh
John Mayer's, "No Such Thing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as a river.
The Real Lyrics:
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world.
The Story: I heard this song playing on the speakers while I was eating at a restaurant. The first time that line was sung, it came accross to me as '....no such thing as a river'. But I kept listening to see if that could be right. On repetitions of the line, I decided the last words thereof were unclear to me, but I guessed 'the real world' was possibly smething that would make sense in the context. I got home and checked a lyrics site, confirming that I had guessed the real lyrics to that line by the end of the song. - Submitted by: Julia Cox
John Mayer's, "No Such Thing"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'm gonna die if I don't find a men's room,
I gonna scream at the top of my lungs.
The Real Lyrics:
I wanna run through the halls of my high school,
I wanna scream at the top of my lungs.
The Story: This may be a sign of an enlarged prostate. John should ask his doctor if Uroxatral is right for him. Side effects my include blurred vision, acid reflux, ringing of the ears, heart palpitations, prolonged back pain, olfactory hallucinations, projectile urination, subdural hypodisphoria, acute hyperphasia, liberal gynoperception, fervent punctuality, public micturation, reverse peristalsis, rotary supination, perinetic deception, cyclic dehydration, idiopathic colitis, permanent loss of brain function, and intermittent death. - Submitted by: Jeff Koplow
John Mayer's, "Say What You Need To Say"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Take out any wasted armor
The Real Lyrics:
Take out of your wasted honor
The Story: Was used in a Hallmark commercial. - Submitted by: Cody Finke
John Mayer's, "Say"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Sin to me this day
or
Sent to me this day
or
Sent to me to stay
The Real Lyrics:
Say what you need to say.
The Story: No, seriously, I can never be sure what exactly what is being said here. Definitely does NOT sound like the actual lyric. In fact, the clearest lyric to me was "a one man army", and searching that didn't help. Had to find another. - Submitted by: Tim Kramar
John Mayer's, "Wheel"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And that's the way this feel keeps going on.
The Real Lyrics:
And that's the way this wheel keeps working now.
The Story: Well me and my friends were sitting around and this song came on and my friend was getting into it even though she never heard of the song. Well after the chorus played like 2 times, she starting singing, 'And thats the way this feel keeps going on.' My friends and I started to crack up. She was like 'What!?!' and we never told her and she still sings it like that. (By the way I'm a big John Mayer fan! LOVE YA JOHN!) - Submitted by: Ange
John Mayer's, "Your Body Is A Wonderland"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Alice in Wonderlan
Alice in Wonderland use my hand.
The Real Lyrics:
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands).
The Story: This song was playing on the radio in my classroom and a student started singing the misheard lyrics, feeling pretty darn proud of his singing ability. I didn't have the heart to correct him. - Submitted by: Mandy
John Mayer's, "Your Body Is a Wonderland"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Nevada is wonderland :repeats once: I'll use my hands
The Real Lyrics:
Your body is a wonderland
Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands).
The Story: So for like 3 years I thought it was "Nevada is wonderland" until 2 days ago I was singing and my friends Haley and Lexi told me that it's not "Nevada is wonderland"; it's "Your body's a wonderland." - Submitted by: Grace
Indexes: [#] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [Y] [Z]

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