Oscar Madison is dirty,
Felix is a man who's girly,
Edna is Paul Williams' groupie,
The Odd Couple is on,

Gloria is Felix's wife,
But he now lives a bachelor's life,
"Yes or no" is what he asks dates,
Then Oscar's ulcer flares,

Then they take a short vacation,
To a small deserted nation,
Felix sings funny Calypso,
But Jesse wants Ringo,

Then they win a brand new sports car,
In New York there's nowhere to park,
Oscar calls a slimy car thief,
"Goldilocks this is Papa Bear"

Billy Jean King plays Bobby Riggs,
And she beats him 'cause he's a pig,
Fake head stuck on Felix' shoulder,
But still Riggs wiped him out,

Oscar fights with Howard Cossel,
Says he's got a big mouth and, well,
Howard tries to put him on air,
And Felix saves his neck,

Gloria is Felix's wife,
But his cleanliness caused her strife,
Oscar was a slob all his life,
The Odd Couple is on,