There's varments in my Dell,
There's varments in my Dell,
I-O is very slow,
There's varments in my Dell.

The varments write some bytes,
The varments write some bytes,
Viros are scary-oh,
The varments write some bytes.

Those bytes spawn a child,
Those bytes spawn a child,
GIGO scenario,
Those bytes spawn a child.

That child makes things worse,
That child makes things worse,
I-O will barely go,
That child makes things worse.

For worse is it now,
For worse is it now,
Fry-o those ones and O's,
For worse is it now.

You now print the log,
You now print the log,
I-O to print will go,
You now print the log.

The log shows the stats,
The log shows the stats,
Viros have struck a blow,
The log shows the stats.

The stats blame the mouse,
The stats blame the mouse,
Why-o the mouse won't go?
The stats blame the mouse.

No mouse, try the keys,
No mouse, try the keys,
Resources running low,
No mouse, try the keys.

The keys beep a tone,
The keys beep a tone,
Echos no video,
The keys beep a tone.

The varments killed my Dell,
The varments killed my Dell,
WINDOWS in overflow,
The varments killed my Dell.