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Song Parodies -> "God Help The Queen"

Original Song Title:

"God Save The Queen"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"God Help The Queen"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

God help our aging Queen,
Through troubles that she's seen
God help the Queen:
Millions take the piss
Out of her family's
Anus horribilis
God help the Queen.

Bet she don't want no more
Insane daughters-in-law
Causing her pain
Falling opinion polls
Sons scoring more own goals
Camilla Parker-Bowels?
God help the Queen.

Not allowed to condemn
Tony Blair as PM
Can't make him fall:
Can't mess in politics,
Mention their knavish tricks,
Or Tony's clone-y chicks
God help us all.

Bet that she doesn't bless
Tabloid intrusiveness
Pictures obscene
Lord make their editors
Realise their own flaws -
Likely as Santa Claus
God help the Queen

She's living on and on
Seems like she'll ne'er be gone
God help the Queen!
But our state's stately head's
Mother, although she's dead
Lived to more than one hundred
God help the Queen!

May she stay in good health
And for the Commonwealth
Stability bring.
But when she's ceased to be
And Charlie follows, he
Will like to know that we
say "God help the King"

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.8
How Funny: 3.6
Overall Rating: 3.5

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 4
 2
 
 2   2
 0
 3
 
 3   2
 3
 3
 
 4   6
 5
 7
 
 5   8
 8
 5
 

User Comments

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Phil - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
PS How many people here knew that there are actually a whole six verses to our national anthem?
Laurence Dunne - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
One of the most underused parody songs there is. Good rendition. Come on people, we should all be parodying the British National Anthem, it's just asking for it.
Royce Miller - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Another interesting parody, Phil--I can relate to your line "God help us all"..
dude - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
no way is this Traditional... the correct artist should be the Sex Pistols



Yes I'm kidding. If people outside of France knew the French national anthem, that would make far better parody fodder
Johnny D - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
A----lex-an-der!
' lexander rules the page!
Phil
Will
Always cheer and thrill us
Like a Sage!
Jack Wilson - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
This was hilarious! All 5's!
Jude Rodamer - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
All 5s!!! Thank you for making me laugh!! This one's a keeper!! And, to top it off...you can tell it's really from your heart. Once thing though...did you MEAN to mispell Camilla's last name?
Peregrin - January 16, 2004 - Report this comment
That was fantastic Phil!
Melhi - January 17, 2004 - Report this comment
You have a national anthem? (just kidding!) Nice job!
JohnLoony - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
In answer to Phil's question at the top of the page, nobody "knows" that there are 6 verses; everybody knows that there are 7 verses.
Phil Alexander - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Just noticed that last comment... could you cite a source which has seven verses, please, as every one I can find is either three or six?
And yes, Jude, the "bowles/bowels" misspelling was intentional
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) My earlier comment still stands: Hail Philtannia!
Johnny D - June 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually, that should be, "Rule, Philtannia!".
Leo Jay - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Great stuff.
Adagio - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) DKTOS, but is a funny read.
Melhi - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
You have proven, once again, that you are the living definition of the word Philolo-G . ;)
Johnny D - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above.
Phil Alexander - June 09, 2004 - Report this comment
:-)

I still can't believe nobody's picked up the misspelling of "annus", though...
Jack Wilson - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
(AB]C above
Spaff.com - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Patagio: I DKTOS either, but for some reason the meter reminds me a lot of "My Country 'Tis of Thee." Heh heh.

And speaking of meter, Philbo, many of your lines here are rhythymic gems. ("Insane daughters-in-law," "Tabloid intrusiveness," et al.) Nicely skewered. Oh, and dude's comment made me laugh.
Spaff.com - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
P.S. "Rhythymic" is more rhythymic than "rhythmic."
Adagio - June 10, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny, Spaff..."My Country Tis of Thee" is what I automatically started humming.
Claude Prez - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You foreign guys always make me laugh ; ) Seriously, funny stuff and thanks to Spaff for reminding me which damn America song uses this tune.
Meriadoc - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Well, geez, if I had known it was "My Country 'Tis of Thee," I wouldn't have had to make Pippin sing it to me... :-D
Paul Robinson - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
(ABC) Phil, you mean you guys HAVE a National Anthem? Wow...Seriously, great job...for some reason it makes me think of one of Robert Preston's lines in "Victor/Victoria" even though it has nothing to do with this. Something about an "Old Queen". 5's.
Jeff Reuben - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Didn' t know the original either, but still pretty funny
Phil Alexander - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Well if none of you Americans know the UK national anthem (which is, as it happens, to the tune of "My Country 'tis of thee"), I guess I'll have to do someone elses... now let me see...

Oh, say can you see
By the porn's girly light....

Dude - there's a bit of a story behind this one, but howsabout:
Allons enfants de la poitrine
Le jour de boire est arrivée

And one to the tune of the German national anthem (behind which is another story... this one'll not be told to save the blushes of the now grown-up little girl who stood up in church to sing it during prayer):
Daddy's wearing mummy's knickers
Do they fit him? No they don't
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, would that make "My Country 'Tis Of Thee" sort of a parody of the British Anthem? Or just a rip-off, ~ doo-lang, doo-lang, doo-lang...we're so fine...~
Phil Alexander - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
I believe so: I think it would be about the time of the revolution, and the Americans wanted to bury our national anthem, so they used the tune with their own words.
John Jenkins - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent parody, Phil. But are you suggesting that one of the richest people in the world deserves our sympathy?

Paul, not only is "My Country Tis of Thee" a parody of the British National Anthem, but our national anthem, "The Star Spangled Banner," is a parody of "To Anacreon in Heaven," a drinking song sung by the Anacreontic Club, a London organization of wealthy men.
Paul Robinson - June 14, 2004 - Report this comment
JJ - Boy, we sure ripped those Brits off when it came to our Patriotic Songs, didn't we? Next thing you know I'll find out Springstein's "Born In The U.S.A." was some sort of English Soccer Club ditty.
martha - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
great stuff Phil... this one gest my vote for the Gs
Phil Alexander - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Must admit, JJ, there are times when I do feel sorry for the Queen - yes, I know she has an immensely privileged background, but she has had hardly any life of her own, and has served her country with a duty and diligence which has never been matched by any politician and probably never will. Add to this the continual printing of lies about her close family, having to shake hands and be polite to some of the most odious creatures alive... as far as I'm concerned, she can have her castles and riches, I don't want them. I'm much happier with the life I have, thank you v ery much.

Paul - you mean that Manchester United song "Born for MUFC"?

..(no, I just made that one up)
Michael Pacholek - June 15, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't think so, Paul. British soccer fans don't have Bruce's kind of imagination. Of course, if they show up sober, that's considered a "brilliant disguise."
Paul Robinson - June 16, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil, But you could have slid it by me. I'm very gullible when I know it can't possibly cost me anything.
2nz - June 27, 2004 - Report this comment
Great parody Phil. JJ, that's what's great about America: It's a big, giant, collosus of a parody. A stupendous, post-modern mess. But I digress, great parody Phil.

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