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Song Parodies -> "Mistresses Ending Your Reign Dear"

Original Song Title:

"Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Mistresses Ending Your Reign Dear"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics


You reap what you ho...
He's humped Holly
and Julie
and Joslyn
and Cori...
Rachel and
Mindy and
Jaimee and Lori...
But do you recall
Tiger's MILFiest mistress of all?

Palin the Redneck Rogue'ster!
Had a cherry hiny pose
And then when Tiger saw it
He exclaimed, "I hope it 'hos'!"

Often in ass'ignations
Held in secret near The Pole
Sarah would dress as school girls
Playing rounds of eight 'teen holes'!

"Me: Madonna--You: Gaga,"
--Tiger loved to play--
"Sarah, fetch our cone-bra rigs...
We're the schizz in Barbie™ wigs!"

Then as Ms. Elin left him
And his sponsors, spooked, did flee
OJ quipped, "We're twins, Tiger--
Lady killers sans NIKE!"

~ Longish Inter'lewd ~

Latest on Tiger's 'front nine'--
Hilly Clinton, with a sigh
Just 'fessed she gave Woods' club's head
What she called, "The perfect lie!"

Peppered by Paparazzi
Hilly 'splained 'the sit' this way:
"Woods lets me palm his putter
Every 'Secretary's' Day!"
~

Sarah P. and Mrs. C.
Fought o're him like minx
"Who elected *you*," they'd bray,
"...President of this three-way?"

Then they made up and texted:
"Triple-timing 'Mr. Tee':
We'll cheer when, like John Edwards,
You 'go down' IN HYSTER-Y!"

~

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Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Tiger with Palin and Hillary? What a hellish scenario! Very funny. ;D
TJC - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks Ribber! I think you summed up that part`tickular scenario to a T! And BTW--A typo in the title... Should'a been: "Mistresses *End* Your Reign Dear!"
AFW - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
The Tiger tales are still wagging, and you've wagged a good one, here...with many fine lines. rhymes, and phrases
Christie Marie M - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
The "Tiger" is out in the wild once again! This time he got to meet those fellow "cougars"! Here's another story I found out in this link: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/12/theresa-rogers-tiger-woods-cougar-mistress/ It's about a cougar named Theresa Rogers (who's in her 40's). I wonder what happens if a tiger mates with a cougar. Great take on a tabloid based parody! Leaking 555's to the press!
Timmy1000 - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Tiger and Pailn - now there's a couple; you betcha
Rewedolph Hit('ll on h-)er - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
Waay TMGLTM, but single out -- or three-way out -- assignations, 18 holes, and working in OJ -- wow, a "blast" from the past! Super sub on "very shiny", and LOL @ Pole -- if only it weren't always pointing North, he might not be in this mess. :)

A tryst with Ms. Clinton? Tiger's punishment would truly fit his crime! (lol @ intro, too) .
Overall: "Hysterical". I'm sure ute'ro-te even more zingers, had there been womb. Cerv(ix) Tiger right! -- fall, opian' zipper all ovar-y everyone....
Fiddlegirl - December 22, 2009 - Report this comment
555!!! I'd type more, but I'm laughing too hard... :D
TJC - December 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Sleigh-loads full of bags of chimney-stuffing, tree topping thanks to FG, Christie, AF & Timmy! The truth will out!
And 'Rewedolph' (LOL, I never tire of the lambpoon!), thanks Palintino! Yer tewe kind and an honor(and off'her')ary Doctor of Critical Analysis to bewet!
Peter Andersson - December 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Nice parody but generally speaking I think the media is letting Elin off way too easy. Imagine it had been a white female golfer, say Annika Sörenstam because she was the best in the world a couple of years back, whos afroasian husband had found out about her multiple affairs, roughed her up at bit indoors, smashed up her car with a golf club, refused to let the police into the house, ran away overseas with the kids, filed for diverse, single custody of the children and asked for half of her fortune. Would they still have portraid the golfer in that scenario as the big culprit? Makes you wonder...
blackjack21 - December 23, 2009 - Report this comment
Two stroke penalty for excessive mistressing, but still score 555 on the scorecard.
DriftingDiva - December 23, 2009 - Report this comment
No requirement for " drifting in and out of consciousness . . . "

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