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Song Parodies -> "Sorry About That Pain, Dear"

Original Song Title:

"Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer"

Original Performer:

Traditional

Parody Song Title:

"Sorry About That Pain, Dear"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics

Sure it’s still 238 days ‘til Christmas, but this way I avoid all that Yuletide rush!
You’ve had mammograms
Hemograms,
Tine tests for TB
M.R.I.’s,
Scoped insides,
Ass'ays of feces
But, do you recall
The most infamous test of them all?

Med student screening pap smears!
Amateurs? That 'twern't disclosed!
Speculumed hands both shakin’
Cervices* to be de-posed!

All of the newb’s attendings
Waitin’ ‘hind the curtains pray
Fervently that their student’s
Down with the ‘Anat’ of Grey!

Bedside manners? Lubricants?
‘Wetiquette’ is frayed—
Too bad there’s no Em’ly Post
Prepping ‘em to pry-agnose!

Then after years in practice
All the GYN’s surveyed
‘Fessed up they love those stirrups—
Lends ‘em S & M’s caché!

*pleural of cervix

~
Actually first submitted on Sunday but apparently a 'no go'... I apologize in advance should this be a duplication.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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stuart mcarthur - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
had to read it twice because it's so dense with wit, TJC - very clever wordplay and syllable-matching - 555
AFW - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Hilarious content, and so clinically correct
Ann Hammond - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
he he
alvin - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
my favorite of the day....excellent piece !
Meriadoc - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Great word play here!
TJC - May 01, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks all, appreciate the comments and votes! I've been known for writing 'pap' but not about it! By the way, if any of you are unfamiliar with the pap smear, AKA the Papanikolaou test, is a medical screening method primarily designed to detect premalignant and malignant processes in the ectocervix. It can also detect infections and abnormalities in the endocervix and endometrium. Basically, a plastic scraper is drawn accross the woman's cervix through a speculum, and the swabbing placed into liquid media and analysed in the lab, largely by computers... pre 1990's it was 'smeared' on a slide and then looked at under a microscope by a lab tech.
PMS - May 02, 2007 - Report this comment
GYN-uinely funny
Stephen Harrington - September 20, 2007 - Report this comment
Very good, ammusing. 555
Tommy Turtle - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Geez, you shudda' been a gynecologist instead of a parodist... on the other "hand" (lol), probably better that you're not, judging from this... Scary to think of you rendering medical cervices to the public.... Loved neo-logical and superpuns ‘Wetiquette’ and "pry-agnose"! ... plus clever "Ass'ays", ass says (that's TT)... also loved PMS comment. As mentioned at a certain "other" parody, she's one of the guys as far as a good laugh at either gender's expense... love her too, and miss her.

Didn't want to comment before posting your tribute, so as not to give anything away... the tribute speaks for itself. 555 (Isn't this "copy/paste" stuff neat? You can leave the samecomment multiple times!)
Your 3rd-grade Spelling Teacher - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
How is it that you can't spell simple words, but can spell "Papanikolaou", without even Anglicizing it as is usually done? ("Papanicolaou") ... and btw, did you copy from the Wikipedia article, or did you write it? :) :)
Peregrin - September 21, 2012 - Report this comment
Hi TJC, Tommy pointed me here in his reply to M&Ps 'Trip To Gyn'. This is excellent :) My fave line was "Speculumed hands both shakin". Brrrr!
TJC - February 02, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, Peregrin! Hope all's well with you (and ewe!)

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