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Song Parodies -> "Republicans' Picnic"

Original Song Title:

"Teddy Bears' Picnic"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Republicans' Picnic"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I usually don't wander into the political arena too often, but this came quick. Like a speeding bus.
If you go out in the States today
And you are a Democrat
You're going to ponder your fate today
Your party is falling flat
For Georgie Bush, who we wished away
Made a big push and voters did sway
Today's the day Republicans have their picnic

Each conservative says it's good
That Kerry got beat today
There's lots of justices to appoint
And women's rights go away
Beneath the fear of war "Nuculeer"
Into the berg this ship he will steer
And we will pay Republicans and their picnic

Party on Republicans
The rich Republicans are having a lovely time to see
Watch them and their corp'rate friends
And see them wallow in their victory
But no gays will gad about
It's harder to come out
They now would not even dare

And pretty soon those ten old commandments
Will sit at every court
Because the Constitution tears

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.2
Overall Rating: 4.2

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   9

User Comments

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Johnny D - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Sounds like the bear you have to cross.
Righty - November 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh, don't be so glum, chum! As a genuine card-pulling Bush voter, I hereby offer you a few positive, dynamic, uplifting predictions of the future: --The Jim Crow laws will never be reinstated, ever. --If Bush can slip his Supreme Court nominees past the RINOs and Roe vs. Wade is finally overturned, the issue will be busted back down to the state level for local legislature to decide, which is where it belongs, dammit! --No cameras will be installed in your bedroom, or anywhere near your bedroom. I mean, unless you're the one installing them because you wanted to make some dough from selling gay porn or something. --People who blow up buildings or kill people by dragging them to death behind their trucks will continue to be hung, poisoned, gassed, shot, or electrocuted where respective laws mandating these punishments still apply. --The much-maligned corporations, big and small, will continue to make jobs available for lefty layabouts, at least until they find out just how lazy these new employees really are. --Women in countries we invade will continue to get some basic new freedoms, such as the right to vote and the right to walk around in something less confining than a burkha without getting raped and/or arrested. Most American feminists will not rejoice. --Atheists and other Christian-hating statists will continue to lose sleep, lose their appetites, and wreck their marriages worrying that someone in a "flyover" state somewhere might be putting up a Ten Commandments monument in a court or reciting the full Pledge of Allegiance in a classroom. No one else will worry at all. --Gay Pride parades will continue to be held in various large cities. Christians and conservatives will stay away in droves. Gay marchers will swear at and assault any protestors who do show up. --Students at state universities will continue to hang large banners full of gay porn in honor of Gay Pride Week while the faculties steal and burn copies of the conservative students' newspapers. --GLSEN will continue to teach 7th-graders how to stick their hands up each others' rectums anywhere they can keep the kids' parents from recording them. Christians and conservatives and more than a few lefties will continue to abandon the public schools for private schools and homeschools. --After hearing the same jokes for a week, we righties will get tired of gloating. Some of us will tire of it even before that! --You will still be allowed to say the seven words that aren't allowed on TV, in addition to the vilest racial and sexual epithets you can imagine.
Paul Robinson - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick - DKTOS on "Teddy Bears' Picnic" (as far as I know, anyway), but a good read. Pssst...don't tell anyone but someone in this thread appears to have some serious "issues" to work out...but I'm sure he will in time...
Look before you leap - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Mr. Robinson, Here you go assuming again. Did you even digest anything the writer said in the above comment? For instance, what makes you so sure this is a 'he"? Get your facts straight please before you open your mouth to insert foot. In your assumption that this is a male drives home the point that the writer is trying to make. You assume the worst. Try to get some perspective. I'll pray for you. Or would it be that your left wing agenda would like to put a stop to my right to freedom of religion as well?
Paul Robinson - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Look...leap - actually, I did consider all the gender possibilities but decided not to go with "he/she/whatever" in referring to the writer, instead using a generic "he", since it matters not a whit to me what gender "Righty" is or isn't. So, Mr./Mrs./Ms./or Whatever Leap, Why don't you take your criticism and, yes, that's right, that's exactly KNOW what I'm thinking here, don't you? Now, as for the other, more serious criticism - I read EVERY ludicrous word of "Righty's" rant and came away unimpressed. It's chock-full of smug assumptions that cannot be proven one way or another - opinions, which I know and you SHOULD know, everybody is allowed to have, no matter how ill-informed and demeaning and insulting they might be. For instance, I'll just take one...the assumption that all those who are "lefty's" are "lazy layabouts". You know what? I've worked hard and diligently at EVERY job I've had. And I've done a good job at every job I've had where Management made it possible to do so, which has been about 90+% of them. Even where they have NOT properly prepared or equiped the work force I've tried to do the best I could. I've been, at various times, An owner, a Partner, a General Manager, a Retail Store Manager, an Office Manager, an Office Supervisor, a "Full-Time" Employee for a large Corporation, a "Part-Time/Seasonal" Employee for the same large Corporation, and I've just been hired as a "Part-Time/Seasonal" worker for a fairly new Tax Software Company in this area. My former Supervisor from the "Large Corporation" job contacted me about the position and also gave me a good recommendation to the owners. I plan to work hard, well and diligently at that job, just like I do with the works I post on this site because I take personal pride in what I do. You may notice I attach my real name to all my works and comments on this site. That's because I TAKE responsibility for them. If I mis-speak and offend then the apologies and amends are on ME, Paul Robinson to make...not left to hang in the air waiting for some phony psuedenonymous (don't know if that is a real word, but I like how it sounds) creation to ignore. So spare me your prayers, OK? You are welcome to do all the praying that your heart and soul desire to's really fine with me, as long as you don't involve me in them. Does that sound like I'm trying to violate your right to freedom of religion or anything else? I was GOING to suggest you kiss a certain part of my anatomy at the end of my remarks here because you've really steamed me up this morning, but I decided against degrading the seriousness behind my comments. So have a nice day...
Look before you leap - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Whether you acknowlege it or not you, Mr. Robinson, are a child of God and deserve to be prayed for. I would be remiss in my faith not to do so. I apologise for the remark about your left wing agenda. I should have never brought that up. But I will pray for you, Kerry, Mr. Edwards and ask special healing for Mrs. Edwards. But most of all I will pray for the country. You nor any human is my enemy. We all, whether we acknowlege it or not, are all created by the same God who would even welcome into heaven Bin Laden himself if he were to just ask for it. My fight is not with my brothers. God Bless you sir.
Arwen - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Um...Leaper...that's all fine and good...but, grammatically speaking, if you're going to use a "nor" you really need to preface it with a "neither." I can't take any argument seriously if it's not written in proper English.
Look before you leap - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
And I will also pray for you Arwen and God Bless you.
Righty - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice to hear that someone's doing something productive, anyway. Yes, let Mrs. Edwards be in God's hands, although I'm sure the doctors will do their best too. Yes, the God who let King Manasseh into heaven could conceivably allow Bin Laden in as well, though I wouldn't bet on it. I meant what I said, Mr. Robinson: hard as it may be for you to believe right now, nothing bad is going to happen to you lefties, unless you or one of your allies inflicts it upon you.
Look before you leap - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Righty - What is almost inconceivable is that Bin Laden would ever truely ask for it and what is totally inconceivable is that God would deny him if he did. Sin is sin in God's eyes and He looks at it all the same. To accept the gift of the Lamb is what God requires of the human being to claim his inheritance. No one comes to the Father except through the Son.
Bark before you pee - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
You must accept the Lift of the Gam if you want Dog to baptize your leg in The Yellow River of Life.
Righty - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Example of the kind of campaigning Bark was probably doing until recently: "Dick Cheney plans to turn cute little puppies into nuclear waste so he can dump it into the water supply of our public schools and make the kids observe a moment of silence."
Dr. Sigmund Freud - November 05, 2004 - Report this comment
Ja, und vhat else are you denying constitutes your most secret und hidden inner desires, Righty?
Jeanne Poole - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Maybe Bush loves puppies. And I'll bet that he thinks that puppies should have more equal rights than kittens. He claims to believe in and promote diversity, but he doesn't know puppy shit. He wants the nation and world to be run his way (his religion, his tastes, etc.) and instills paranoia in order to "rock the vote" with even more parnoid, narrow-minded, homophobic yee-ha religious types than himself. And if Righty and Looky believe that this country is not going to the dogs, then they're suffering from more than bad metaphors.
Righty - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Yep, real way to win friends and influence people there, Jeanne! Gosh, why would we paranoid narrow-minded homophobic yee-ha religious-type peasants who don't think this country is going to the dogs refuse to vote for the likes of you refreshingly naive broad-minded cocksucking up-yours raving-atheist-type sophisticates who think this country's all shot to hell?
Paul Robinson - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
A brief remark this time, Righty - The country is not "all shot to hell" - just the leadership. Oh, by the way, you aren't really very good at sarcasm so you probably ought to give it a rest.
Righty - November 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Sticks and stones, Mr. Robinson. I was laughing pretty hard at what I was writing even if you weren't. As for our leaders, I think they're doing just fine, all things considered.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - November 08, 2004 - Report this comment
"Hating" and "disagreeing with" are two very different things, even when a disagreement is heartfelt: do I "hate" atheists simply because I happen to believe in more than one god? No. Do I "hate" Buddhists because I happen to believe the self and the material world are real? No. Do I "hate" Christians because I happen to reject most Biblical theology? No; what I actually hate is being mislabeled, and being the target of conversion attempts I do not want. And that applies equally whether someone labels or preaches in the name of Jesus, Allah, Krishna, or Bob Dobbs.
Phil Alexander - November 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Missed this on the day it came out, luckily caught it on the comments. Super parody, Rick :-)

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