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Song Parodies -> "We Can't Speak"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"We Can't Speak"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

This is my 800th parody. I can't believe it myself. Since I now have tenure, I might as well lecture.
As a writer, as a reader
I see rules our language has
Don't abuse it or misuse it
Or you'll come off like a spaz

Irregardless, irregardless
Such a word does not exist
If you say it while in MENSA
You may find them looking pissed

There are others, way too common
They can't spell or they can't speak
"I'm just British," or "It's Yiddish"
Those excuses are so weak

February, February
Of the "R"s, I see a pair
And though neither one is silent
People speak like one's not there

It's not only average folks, dear
Who may need some special ed.
There are people we elected
Who show signs that they're brain dead

Nu-cle-ar, George, nu-cle-ar, George
So much power in that force
Don't use it if you can't say it
Stay in Texas, ride a horse

My perscription, at the drug store
Wasn't filled with the right pill
Though I need it, couldn't read it
And I'm mispronouncing still

Get some couth, dear, get some couth, dear
Oops, that word's not in the book
Got to have that "un" before it
It's in Webster, take a look

Ax a question, ax a question
It's the way you say it "black"
I'm so glad there's now Ebonics
It explains words that are "whack"

There's a tiny little "a" there
In the word "miniature"
I'm nit-picking? Yes, it's stickling
But it's right, of that I'm sure

Take for granite, take for granite
I believe this means a rock
Which your head may be composed of
If you are a big dumb jock

If you want your pupils tiny
They're not going to "dialate"
It should sound like you'll expire
At a very future date

Drink espresso, not expresso
Say it right, expecially
You are judged by your poor grammar
By the social hi-archy

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   11

User Comments

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John Barry - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant, Rick! Congrats, again, on 800.
Rick D - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
John, I was sure you were going to beat me to it, but you took a long break, letting me go first. I'm sure you'll be here in a week or two.
Johnny D - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Now 800 ?
Wow, 800 !
Ever big-ger and grand-er,
Grows your parody collection,
Richard Duncan Highlander!
Rick D - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Johns. If a third of them are any good, I'm doing okay.
Rick C - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Graduations on 800, Rick D!!!!! Great parody for the millstone. 555
Red Ant - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Congratulations on 800 as well Rick and this one is good.
Meriadoc - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I read this parody oncet, and then after I warshed the dishes, I read it again.... You wrote it real good.... :-)
Adagio - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Hilarious, Rick!! :D
Olvan The Terrible - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Bravo, Rick! I'm hoping there'll be a sequel, which will expose common mispronunciations like "realator" and common misspellings like "thier."
mAri d - July 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick, you're totally nuts, and I should know! I also knew that you could do it!
Eac Zeffron - February 13, 2007 - Report this comment
I just came across this'n and enjoyed it. Nice work, man!
matrixmaniac - March 10, 2011 - Report this comment
you sir just got on every person in tNorth america, england, and austrailia. Good job i loved it. oh and congrats on the 800

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