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Song Parodies -> "The Man Who Could Not Cut the Cheese"

Original Song Title:

"The Man On the Flying Trapeze"

Original Performer:

Trad.

Parody Song Title:

"The Man Who Could Not Cut the Cheese"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

When I looked up this ditty, I was amazed at how many verses it had. Like most of us, I pretty much only knew one. I found it was considered to be a childrens' song, but the themes are pretty adult. So now I returned it to the more juvenile.
Once was a schoolboy with manners so warm
Whose mother had taught him from day he was born
She told him that farting was very bad form
He vowed never to gas away

As he grew, he was mocked by his schoolmates
He was ever so easy to tease
And he earned quite a nickname that fit very well
As the boy who could not cut the cheese

Oh, he clenches his buns to prevent noxious breeze
The uptight young man who could not cut the cheese
He felt that loud farting was a social disease
So he waits till the urge goes away

He'd never eat beans, on broccoli he'd pass
Surrounded by chili, he'd make no foul gas
His friends said that he was a pain in the ass
He'd sit there in obvious pain

Oh, he'd grimace at work, he seemed ready to blow
But no sound or a smell would arise
The sphincter of Atlas he had down below
But he'd often wipe tears from his eyes

Oh, he clenches his buns to prevent noxious breeze
The uptight young man who could not cut the cheese
He felt that loud farting was a social disease
So he waits till the urge goes away

Oh, he wept and he wimpered, was one crying jag
And he spent lots of time in the head with a mag
We went in to check but we never would gag
We told him to go see the doc

He went to the medic, the expert who said
Just tell me the place where it's sore
So he pointed behind and complained it felt dead
For he hadn't broke wind since age four

Oh, he clenches his buns to prevent noxious breeze
The uptight young man who could not cut the cheese
He felt that loud farting was a social disease
So he waits till the urge goes away

So the doc gave him pills, said to take one at night
And before very long he'd be feeling alright
He read'ly obeyed, for relief from his plight
Was a remedy he wanted now

But the story's sad end you might well have forseen
For so late one night there in his room
He lifted his sheets with a match in between
And the neighbors heard a KABOOM!

Oh, he once clenched his buns to prevent noxious breeze
The uptight young man who could not cut the cheese
He felt that loud farting was a social disease
But it finally blew him away
Why isn't "Circus" spelled like it sounds? "Serkus"? Get rid of that useless letter "C".

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Guy - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Muchass gasy-ass. Well done Rick.
David Chrenko - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
High-Flying Fives, Mr. D. You know I usually turn my nose up at all parodies de farte (which is your forte) - but this one doth bring a tear to the one good eye. It's breathtaking bouquet carries an aire of distinction about it. Vive la SBD! Savoir Faire eez everywhere!
Laurence Dunne - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a great parody! Well done!
Jack Wilson - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Great job!
Rick D - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Actually Dave, I think Guy DiRito is the Flatulence King. I'm only a Prince, but you can call me Blanket(ti-blank)
Johnny D - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Thou Breaker Of Parody Wind, well done, 5's
Guy - January 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick - I'll take that as a complement, I think. LOL. Butt seriously this one was a real gas. I'm happy to share the 'classical gas' spotlight with you. This was really well done and it stinks too.
Johnny D - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my vote, and Rick, I am taking you up on one of your plug-offers:

"Fartless Man" (parody of ZZ Top's "Sharp Dressed Man"):

http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/zztop27.shtml
Know 1 can hear you dream - October 04, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, if it's a-loud to blow ones own horn here, so to speak, I have:

The day my ass caught fire:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/cityboy0.shtml

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