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Song Parodies -> "I Wanna Piece o' David"
Original Song Title:
"I Wanna Be Sedated"
(MP3)Original Performer:
The Ramones
Parody Song Title:
"I Wanna Piece o' David"
Parody Written by:
Michael Pacholek
The Lyrics
Get your minds out of the gutter, people, this is a parody of Biblical proportions. OK, David did have a sex problem, but I assure you, Bathsheba will not be among the narrators here.
(Goliath)
Twenty, twenty, twenty feet taller than him!
I wanna piece o' David!
If he fights me, his life will be looking grim, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just put that scrawny kid against me, big bad Philistine!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, 'cause I'm feelin' kinda mean!
What is that in his fingers, yikes, I think that it's a sling!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Saul)
Twenty talents to the man who brings me his head!
I wanna piece o' David!
He will not be the king, I will see him dead, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just tell that prophet Samuel that he's really wrong!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, before David sings his song!
I can't control the country, my death now won't be long!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Absalom)
Twenty royal sons and I'm the first, you know!
I wanna piece o' David!
Solomon's his choice, but that's a real no-go, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just bring the tribes o' Israel over to my claim!
Hurry, hurry, hurry to the wood known as Ephraim!
I can't control the battle, and now Dad's men take aim!
Ow-ow-ow, ow, ow, owwww!
(Michelangelo Buonarroti)
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Twenty, twenty, twenty feet taller than him!
I wanna piece o' David!
If he fights me, his life will be looking grim, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just put that scrawny kid against me, big bad Philistine!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, 'cause I'm feelin' kinda mean!
What is that in his fingers, yikes, I think that it's a sling!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Saul)
Twenty talents to the man who brings me his head!
I wanna piece o' David!
He will not be the king, I will see him dead, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just tell that prophet Samuel that he's really wrong!
Hurry, hurry, hurry, before David sings his song!
I can't control the country, my death now won't be long!
Oh, no, no, no-no, noooo!
(Absalom)
Twenty royal sons and I'm the first, you know!
I wanna piece o' David!
Solomon's his choice, but that's a real no-go, oh!
I wanna piece o' David!
Just bring the tribes o' Israel over to my claim!
Hurry, hurry, hurry to the wood known as Ephraim!
I can't control the battle, and now Dad's men take aim!
Ow-ow-ow, ow, ow, owwww!
(Michelangelo Buonarroti)
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
Chip-chip-chip-chip, a-chip-chip-chip-chip!
I got a piece o' David!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 8 | 8 | 8 |
User Comments
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great job...slingin' ya fives
This slew me! (Oh and your mastery of the biblical narrative is impressive) 5 Books of the Torah for you!
Not just of Biblical proportions, but a Goliath of a parody! Thanks for dragging my mind out of the gutter, BTW. 555
Excellent parody, MP, but I have to nit-chip one of your facts. Absalom was older than Solomon, but he was David's third, not first, son.
This was ok
As it's stated in the book of AmIright 5:55, I saw that this was good.
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