Hold the pipes.
Give me a hand, darling.
Do you hear that tight squeaking?
Do you understand?
Hold here- take the strain
and we'll stop this leaking.
Firmly turning this internal drain...

Let me see-
It didn't bleed, darling.
Well maybe you should be leaving,
Leave it up to me.
Why do you complain?
Now you've hurt my feelings.
I'll be installing this infernal drain

Stab of pain, broken or a sprain.
Spanner's gone, I'm moaning,
and the basement's filled with rain.
Pride is such a painful feeling!
Aaaaaarrrgggghhhh...

Metal flies,
Plumber be damned.
Pipe goes in with a beating,
There! Just like I planned.
It renews the spray, neighbors hear me screaming..
I *will* install this damned infernal drain!