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Song Parodies -> "Pristine Buns"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Pristine Buns"

Parody Written by:

TJC

The Lyrics

Don't know the OS? Excellent quality Sixteen Tons MIDI here ~ Everyone has a niche product these days!
Most people say their 'essence' lies deep in the mind
Shrouded in myst'ry, and hard to define
Hard to define? Not for this lass
My whole self worth's tied up in this ass

I got pristine buns, quite a tight set
Outrageously toned and a glistnin' with sweat
In this gluteal world, they're way off the chart—
Just one weird thing—they're so taut I can't fart

~

Can be tough when your "soul's" where the sun doesn't shine
While you're nurturin' yours, well I'm sittin' on mine
Had 'em hidden away for far too long
'Til a store clerk said, "Girl, heard of a thong?"

I got pristine buns, sleekest ones yet
Perky n' pumped from a Stairmaster set
Miss Somers might be known for her Master Thighs
But my butt's the one—won the Bun Nobel Prize

~

Some models do hands, others face or their hair
But, very few got 'em a great derriere
Bestin' all rivals, fightin' cheek-to-cheek
So guess who's cover-girl on "J-Lo" next week?

I got pristine buns, like you never met
Particul'ly fine when they're oiled or wet
Mag-azines love 'em 'cause they make quite a splash
In those double-page spreads—all my ass-ets in 'flash'

~

I dedicate my life to 'posterior art'
But the rest of the bod, well it's fallin' apart
New double chin and two boobs that sag
But my heiny's hot and I'm drivin' a Jag

I got pristine buns (yeah!), quite a tight set
Sculpted and honed to a fine silhouette
Don't ya' call me obsessive, girl I'm so much more—
I sold my soul—to the Buns of Steel® Corps!

~

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   9
 9
 9
 

User Comments

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Lionel Mertens - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
5's Mr. Tilde ~~~~~~~~~~~
alvin rhodes - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
what a crack-up
John Barry - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
I was expecting a Foley song. Great title.
AFW - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Saucy, sexy, and superb...
TJC - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Lionel - T~h~a~n~k~s~! ~~~~ Alvin - very funny! ~~~~~ John - thank you....it started out as a Foley bash buttt, when I realized I was just cannibalizing lines from my Tom Dooley Foley parody, I switched cracks... ~~~~ AFW - thanks!
Adagio - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
LMAO!!! I laughed all the way through. esp. at "they're so taut I can't fart…" and "the rest of the bod, well it's fallin' apart New double chin and two boobs that sag But… my heiny's hot and I'm drivin' a Jag" What a funny!! 5's
Michael Pacholek - October 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Step to the rear with these fives. You have achieved your asspiration.
Red Ant - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Man, are you on a roll or what? Another superb TJC spoof. 555
Stuart McArthur - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I echo the lines that Pat picked out, and I raise with "Perky n' pumped from a Stairmaster set" - you've gotta start entering the comps, TJ - 555
TJC - October 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Much appreciated Adagio, Michael, Red Ant and Stuart...you're all bun-derful yourselves!
PMS - October 13, 2006 - Report this comment
I feel like such an ass missing this the first time through!!! 555
Tommy Turtle - April 17, 2009 - Report this comment
Loved the "ThighMaster/Master Thighs" 180! Title switch and hole -- er, "whole" concept cheeky and brilliant. You're a glute-on for pun-ishment! Fantastic job of composing on an ass-e-tabula-rasa! (and I know that you'll have less trouble dissecting that multi-pun than the cast of "Grey's" does with a stiff).

Didn't want to comment before posting your tribute, so as not to give anything away... the tribute speaks for itself. 555 (Isn't this "copy/paste" stuff neat? You can leave the same comment multiple times!)

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