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Song Parodies -> "Sixteen Games"

Original Song Title:

"Sixteen Tons"

Original Performer:

Tennessee Ernie Ford

Parody Song Title:

"Sixteen Games"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Written by Merle Travis in 1947. TEF did it in '55. Sixteen games is the length of the NFL's regular season. "St. Vincent" is Vince Lombardi, the Green Bay Packer coach who won five World Championships in the 1960s. He wasn't actually a saint, but don't say that in Wisconsin. Dedicated to Jim Fassel, who just "quit" as coach of the New York Giants, and deserved a better fate than a bunch of bums quitting on him halfway through the season. I hope he takes some other team and takes 'em all the way.
Soooome... people say a coach's name will be mud.
A poor team's players losing ballgames and blood.
Ballgames and blood, breaking bones.
A team that's weak getting in the end zone.

You coach sixteen games, and what do you get?
Another year older and feeling all wet.
St. Vincent, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go.
I owe my soul to sports-talk radio!

I-I-I-I-I... was born one morning when the sun didn't shine.
I played some football, mostly riding the pine.
I played just sixteen games, didn't cross no team's goal
and the coach told me, "You won't play in no bowl."

You coach sixteen games, and what do you get?
Another year older and feeling all wet.
St. Vincent, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go.
I owe my soul to sports-talk radio!

I-I-I-I-I... was hired one morning, it was drizzling rain.
"West Coast Offense Wizard" is my middle name.
Installed my option package, thought it was looking real fine
but I got no blocking from the men on the line.

You coach sixteen games, and what do you get?
Another year older and feeling all wet.
St. Vincent, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go.
I owe my soul to sports-talk radio!

Theeeee... owner came and told me I should step aside.
A lot of fans left early, a lot of fans cried.
One loss to Dolphins, and one loss to Steel.
If the Cowboys don't get you, then the Packers will.

You coach sixteen games, and what do you get?
Another year older and feeling all wet.
St. Vincent, don't you call me, 'cause I can't go...

I owwwwe myyyyy sou-ou-ou-ou-oullllllll...
to sports-talk radio!

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 3.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Stray Pooch - December 20, 2003 - Report this comment
Love it! Very true to the original and a perfect song choice for the topic! 555
Paul Robinson - December 22, 2003 - Report this comment
Michael, Good work. Even though I've found myself finally tired of football (never thought I'd say that!) this was well done. Maybe your parody supplies the answer: Talk-radio and the like.

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