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Song Parodies -> "Pool, Beer, Gutter"

Original Song Title:

"Cool Water"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sons of the Pioneers

Parody Song Title:

"Pool, Beer, Gutter"

Parody Written by:

Michael McVey

The Lyrics

All day I clean the table green,
At night I hit the gutter,
Cruel gutter.
When I leave my opponets dry,
I drink, they close the shutters,
Pool, beer, gutter.

Keep a-shootin', Stan, don't you be a quitter, Stan,
I'm a devil, not a man,
and I spend the bucks I win
On lager.
Stan, can you see that big red three?
Now you've really gotta wait,
Don't start goin' for the eight,
Oh, me!

At night I'm drunk just like a skunk,
Each game I buy a lager,
Cool lager.
But at sunrise I'll wake outside
And curse again the gutter,
Pool, beer, gutter.

Keep a-shootin', Stan, don't you be a quitter, Stan,
I'm a devil, not a man,
and I spend the bucks I win
On lager.
Stan, you just blew that big blue two!
Shouldn't be too hard for you,
It ain't cool to try to lose
For me!

The patrons play and seem to say
Tonight we'll buy his lager,
Cool lager.
The pool games here, they have no prayer,
But at close we share the gutter.
Pool, beer, gutter.

Keep a-shootin', Stan, don't you be a quitter, Stan,
I'm a devil, not a man,
and I spend the bucks I win
On lager.
Stan, you can get that big green six,
No, I ain't a-pulling tricks,
That kind of ball's for hicks,
Not me!

My feet are sore,
I'm yearning for
Just one thing more than lager,
Cool lager.
Oh, how I'd like to spend the night
Some place that's not a gutter,
Pool, beer, gutter.


©2007, 2008 by Michael W. McVey

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

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Guy - January 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Michael! Happy New Year! I read your bio a few days ago and was pleased to see that you made that lady from Peru your wife. I thought all this time you were still here in town. Send me a message via the message boards on inthe00.com and give me your email address. I still remember fondly our meeting at that Italian restaurant a few years back. The pics to that can be easily reached at this web site under parody writing: Texrocks.com. This is the website of John Penry a close friend who has written a few parodies on amiright.

Oh, yeah - Your parody - Nicely done. Have done this and been there and threw up on the tee shirt. Well done, sir.
Guy - January 04, 2008 - Report this comment
Forgot to tell you that my screen name on the boards is DoRitos. This may help you to get a message to me.
alvin - January 04, 2008 - Report this comment
lol....you've managed to boil life down to three basic elements...wonderfully amusing ditty here
AFW - January 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I like pool, used to like beer, and not crazy about the gutter, but I like the Sons of Pioneers, this old song, and this parody
Michael McVey - January 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Guy, I'm very happy to hear from you again! When I have more time I'll write you about all that's happened since we last talked.
Matthias - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
At least in this game (unlike golf) your balls are always on the green.
Agrimorfee - February 13, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Here's where repetition is a virtue to the song's story, not a liability. I would like to hear this performed with a really thick Cockney accent.
The Charnstar - February 15, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - I VERY much agree with Agrimorfee... I know if I had a really thick Cockney accent, I'd be living this song... 5's
Guy - February 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-JAN) Voted & commented previously and still have upchuck on the tee-shirt.
Peter Andersson - February 24, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - When I have a couple of beers and (if I'm lucky) get to play a ball game I prefer the gene pool gutter spill one over regular pool, and let me tell you that exit through the back door is not an option in that one in my book...
bobpiecheese - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm glad I've decided not to drink - the picture you've painted here seems very painful, and not very hygenic either. 555 beers.
Max Power - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Great
wannabemustangjockey - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) What a life... playing pool and killing your liver. Sounds like 'fun'. Good parody though.
Phil Alexander - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Been there.. done that.. wrote the parody :-)

Security code: 4DT - seems somehow appropriate
Kristof Robertson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A solid contender for title sub of the year....and a real lush of a parody as well! 555+
Jeff Reuben - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
What Phil said...takes me all the way back to my younger days (last weekend). The idea never gets old :) Great job
Jack Wilson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Great job,5s
Below Average Dave - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This OS was uh--a capella wasn't it.. . .I kinda fell asleep a little on ya there, it was funny though most deffinitely.
Invisible Boy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
The contrast between the OS and a pool playing sot is just too funny. Cheers to you.

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