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Song Parodies -> "50 Ways (Health Plans Refuse You)"

Original Song Title:

"50 Ways (To Leave Your Lover)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Paul Simon

Parody Song Title:

"50 Ways (Health Plans Refuse You)"

The Lyrics

My health provider truly is state of the art,
Its ads say that it dispenses care with heart,
But just go get real sick, real quick, you'll get real smart
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.

I had a pain so bad that I was seeing red,
I called my HMO they said, it's in your head,
But call us if you should get seriously dead,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.
50 ways health plans refuse you.

You saw the wrong doc, Jacques,
He's not in the plan, Stan,
He's out of network, jerk,
That's what they'll tell you,
Your claim's been denied, Clyde,
You're all out of luck, Chuck,
So just pay the bill, Phil,
And your premium's due.

They say customer service is what they're all about,
They'll cover anything from hemorrhoids to gout,
Except on days when the sun happens to be out,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.

I complained, but they said health care's in a bind,
And while of course patients are foremost on their mind,
The health they worry about is of their bottom line,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.
50 ways health plans refuse you.

You saw the wrong doc, Jacques,
He's not in the plan, Stan,
He's out of network, jerk,
That's what they'll tell you,
Your claim's been denied, Clyde,
You're all out of luck, Chuck,
So just pay the bill, Phil,
And your premium's due.



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www.southerndiscomfort.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 3   1
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 4   2
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User Comments

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Billy Florio - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Good job man!
Pat - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Loved it!
Meriadoc - August 13, 2003 - Report this comment
Great one! This is my pick of the day!
giblet o'sarcasm - December 17, 2003 - Report this comment
Outrageously funny! And all too true! Especially when it comes to people like my mom, who was unceremoniously dumped by Kaiser Permanente!
Lynda - September 23, 2004 - Report this comment
Great parody, Alan! You gave me a good laugh.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - September 26, 2004 - Report this comment
All too true, and very cleverly handled for a parody of a song that once had a reputation for being overused here. Fives all round!
AstroMike F - February 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Awesome, and very true!

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