My health provider truly is state of the art,
Its ads say that it dispenses care with heart,
But just go get real sick, real quick, you'll get real smart
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.

I had a pain so bad that I was seeing red,
I called my HMO they said, it's in your head,
But call us if you should get seriously dead,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.
50 ways health plans refuse you.

You saw the wrong doc, Jacques,
He's not in the plan, Stan,
He's out of network, jerk,
That's what they'll tell you,
Your claim's been denied, Clyde,
You're all out of luck, Chuck,
So just pay the bill, Phil,
And your premium's due.

They say customer service is what they're all about,
They'll cover anything from hemorrhoids to gout,
Except on days when the sun happens to be out,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.

I complained, but they said health care's in a bind,
And while of course patients are foremost on their mind,
The health they worry about is of their bottom line,
There must be 50 ways health plans refuse you.
50 ways health plans refuse you.

You saw the wrong doc, Jacques,
He's not in the plan, Stan,
He's out of network, jerk,
That's what they'll tell you,
Your claim's been denied, Clyde,
You're all out of luck, Chuck,
So just pay the bill, Phil,
And your premium's due.



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