Who is that old lady in the mirror?
The one with the wrinkly face?
She's oddly familiar, yet I fear her...
I think that I've seen her, someplace.

Her skin looks like sheets of crumpled foil,
From lying out nude as a lass,
Whoever invented tanning oil
Deserves a swift kick in the @$$.

Well, I rubbed a plant and was allergic,
It swelled up my eyes and my face,
The lines disappeared...but it is worth it?
A facial with poison oak paste?

I set my young head upon my pillow,
A ringer for Sleeping Beauty,
Now I look more like Grandmother Willow,
Please bring back Aurora to me.

Who is that old geezer in the photo?
The one with the pear shaped behind?
I used to smile pretty for the camera,
But now that thing's no friend of mine.

Oh who's the old gal in the bikini?
The one with the dimply butt?
The people who know me all accept me,
And they love me no matter what!