ELLIOT: (Detective Stabler)
We couldn't pick a better job: New York, crime's rife
FIN: (Detective Tutola)
They may get surly, but they meet their fate
OLIVIA: (Detective Benson)
Takin' some fake charmer; put away for life
MUNCH: (Detective Sgt. John Munch, always called "Munch")
Soon be livin': prison way upstate
THE WHOLE SQUAD:
Send upstate! 
Stamp out license plate
Got some roommates, burly; serial, uh, "daters"
Feed from trough like cattle
Lots of m*str*b*t*rs
Powerful or fairy; you're new friend in tomb
Always be there, and sharin' a room!
What a shame can't swing from rope! 
Give 'em LWOP 'n not any of hope 
Laaaw and Order: SVU, Olivia and El
'Long with Munch and Fin
They're bustin' in
Sendin' rapists, pedophiles to Hell 
Laaaw and Order: Ev'ry night, detectives on the sly
Hide in nooks and gawk, and watch like hawk
'Til their prey's pre-dating on young guy!
We know they're the best in New York
Promptly pop pervert perp pulling pork!
And when they say,
'You! .... the right to, silent, stay; 
"Attorney, payin' --
"-- Can't? We will find you a dumb dork"
Law & Order, New York!
Laaaaw & Order: Dr. Huang goes creepin' in your brain 
While forensic geek in puter, peek 
Casey Novak notches one again! 
M'liiiiinda Warner: Ev'ry day, a diff'rent stiff, dissect -- (DOA) 
Grab their DNA, or semen spray
Victim: crazy jerk, will they connect!
Don Cragen will strongly command 
Though he knows: won't be long: all sh*t-canned!
(screw up, El) (screw up, Liv) (screw up, Munch) (screw up, Fin) (screw-ups, all;) (screw-up bunch!)
But when he says,
"You!!!!! You better watch your 'A' "
He's really sayin,
"You're doin' fine, unique unit"
"Special Victims": O.K!
You thought your attack was well-planned?
Victim: land, from your schlong, pubic strand!
So when they say,
"Yo! Best cop a plea today!"
We all are sayin'
"Way to fight crime, Special Victims
"Law and Order, Hurray!"
'L. - A. - can - kiss - their - A 
"Munch, Fin, El, .... Liv
 "upstate" - Attica Correctional Facility, north and well to the west of New York City, near the State's western borders, home to some of the worst offenders. Surely a hellish life, per next use of same footnote.
 The State of New York's highest Court declared the State's death penalty unconstitutional in 2004. There have been several legislative attempts to re-enact it, none successful to date.
The question continues to be debated within each of the States; at last count, about 38 of the 50 states permitted capital punishment, though it is rarely used, and often only after long delays, appeals, rehearings, etc. Lethal injection has become the most commonly prescribed method.
Not-so-fun fact: The suicide rate on Death Row (inmates awaiting execution) is ten times the national average. (1) Why is that surprising? (2) Aren't they saving us money and cruelty? (3) Why did they waste our tax dollars on that study?
 "LWOP" (pronounced "El-wop") - Life (in prison) WithOut (possibility of) Parole, common slang for a common alternative to capital punishment, both for states with and without the death penalty.
 Miranda v. Arizona, 1966 US Supreme Court decision that led to all criminal suspects being read the "Miranda warning" before being questioned. (Aren't you glad you know that? Don't you wish everybody did? -- takeoff on old commercial for Dial™ soap.)
 An FBI forensic psychiatrist and criminal profiler who is often consulted by the squad.
 The computer techs are always searching the suspect's computer for evidence (videos of themselves assaulting women, kid-pawrn, etc.), and saying things like, "I found an encrypted partition on his hard drive!" -- whereupon he proceeds to show the incriminating evidence.
Sorry, but if it was encrypted, how did you *decrypt* it? Unlike British courts, US courts have held that the Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination prevents suspects from being required to divulge their encryption keys (what most would call a "password"). Encryption that is totally unbreakable without that key, by the FBI, NSA, or anyone else, is available to *anyone*, at no charge, at, say, www.truecrypt.org.
In real life, the FBI usually uses a much simpler method: Get a warrant (sometimes, we hope), break into the suspect's home or office while they're not there, and implant a bug in the computer that transmits to them all keystrokes -- not just the encryption key, but all words typed in to be encrypted (and all others, of course), which eliminates the need to decrypt. .. One of those "technical glitches" that make it hard for TT to enjoy TV series about various professions..
 One of the Assistant District Attorneys (prosecutors) of the several who have moved through the show at various times. A gorgeous woman -- aren't all prosecutors? But those *glasses* make the blond look sooo *intelligent*!
 The Medical Examiner, or Coroner, for much of the series
 Donald Cragen, the stern-but-fatherly Captain to this gang. Why aren't there any Lieutenants in between? And why, in some cop shows, do Lieutenants do all the actual police work, instead of bringing their Captains coffee, as their job description specifies?
 (one of those footnotes that's totally unnecessary, except for the one reader who might need it)
Reference to the large number of police shows based in Los Angeles, from the old radio show, "Dragnet", on ad infinitum.