Busted fat, wore gobs a' rouge,
Bootied like a train
Bubblin' over in her stretchin' jeans
Picked her up in naughty town,
Face like David Blaine..
Not a pretty sight by any means

Ejected my last Trojan
From a condom sculptured wallet
And was gettin' set for Freddie's cave explore
With them windshield wipers slappin' rain
I left turned into lover's lane
Thought I might need a GPS to score

Feed her must've been the words
Her mama would repeat
To raise a circus lady, charge a fee
Auto sex ain't easy, lord,
A supersonic feat..
To scale a whale whose hips are "Ninety-three"
Pretty rough for me and flabby Marie

Peelin' pasta rolls of tummy
For some fornication fun
Think I've found it by a hairy mole
Pleats and folds of cellulite,
Not real sure there's just one..
Her body heat could keep a bear uncold..
I kept my face protected and unsnapped her bra away
Just lookin' for some love, afraid I'd find
Was like paddlin' a rowboat, lost in San Francisco Bay
Feelin' Flabby's body dwarfin' mine

Feed her must've been the words
Her mama would repeat
To raise a circus lady, charge a fee
Auto sex ain't easy, lord,
A supersonic feat,
To scale a whale whose hips tape "ninety-three"
Quite a job for me and flabby Marie

Well, I'm fin'lly at ground zero
Ready on the launchin' pad
Huffin', puffin', swimmin' in my sweat
Feel an old familiar urge,
I must relieve my "Blad"
Unlock the door, outside the van, I get
While takin' care of bus'ness,
Common sense defeats the need
I could crack a rib or dislocate a leg..
Went back and told Dear Flabby,
I'll still pay, but can't proceed
Then dropped an extra "Grant" for Jenny Craig

Feed her must've been the words
Her mama would repeat
To raise a circus lady, charge a fee
Auto sex ain't easy, lord,
A supersonic feat
To scale a whale whose hips are "Ninety-three"
Too much work for me and flabby Marie

I bailed out on me and flabby Marie