Had myself a "Very E-Bay Christmas"
Pay Pal's no friend of mine
Creditors are calling, can you spare a dime?

Had myself a "Very E-Bay Christmas"
Hate to get out-bid
Told my wife, "Yes dear, I really needed it"

The make up brush used by Tammy Fay
Shatner's old toupe, hair plugs.
A bumper for a Mercedes Benz
Signed by the cast of "Friends".

Lived online, new ISP was faster
Than dial-up would allow
Searching at "light speed",
more item's could be found

Eight tracks of Barry Manilow
A bag of Vermont snow, it's fresh
Sixty acres of prarie land
In Turkmenistan, the best.

Doesn't matter that my wife is leaving
I am feeling proud
Won all my auctions, paid twice the price of "Buy It Now"
I'm hooked on "E-Bay" but I am in denial now.