In 1880 they made a little slip
Was just a minor fraction
Very soon they had to ship
Made with a little bacon
And a crock of baking beans
And now we can't say we're camping
'Less we take some pork and beans

Unpacked them buns
Then the mustard started running
We'd skewer up the dogs on wire
But where'd the ketchup go
Campfires and s'mores
They get the camp to hummin'
But if you leave out pork and beans
Then nobody wants to go

We cooked up the liver
'Til we saw their faces glum
So we opened up the pork and beans
And heard them holler yum!
No forks or knives
Heck! That didn't stop a thing
'Cause we found out we could make bowls
With just our yo-yo strings

We packed our trunks
Mom says still we can't go swimmin'
Because we scarfed our dinner
Less than half an hour ago
Now we're so bored
We're contemplating sunnin'
Or maybe we'll go skipping stones
Down by the water's shore

Coach Gregory said it would be like suicide
If we didn't pack the busses
To at least three cases high
We keep reserves
Just in case we're runnin' low
Kids at night will start to giggle cause
That's when the farts will BLOW....

We hear them grunt
As the farts commence to coming
one match alight would clear it
As this cabin starts to glow
Love fires at night
Outside we see one burning
And how they lost their teepee
Everybody seems to know

Well they run through the fire
Till the camps left in shambles
Then they'll go soak their tushes
In our only swimming hole
They'll blame those beans
For the burns they're receivin'
But if you leave out pork and beans
Then nobody wants to go

We heard the camp cook yelling
Squirrels ate our bread
But he knew of a way to make sure
All of them were dead
He had us get some coconuts
And soaked them in perfume
Then served 'em up with pork and beans
'Til squirrels all went kaboom!

We started crammin'
All the caramel cookies down
Then we raced to the lakebed
Where we dressed dads up as clowns
We stuffed our beds with cotton balls
And shouted to unwind
We spit out watermelon seeds
Then jumped on all the rinds

Swallowed our gum
Just so we could have another
The poison oak was ripe
And many camp-mates got those sores
Camp fires at night
Well they can be quite stunning
And everyone gets happy
When they gulp down choc'late s'mores

Yeah we used nature's dryers
When we did nature's laundry
And we carved our name in trunks
So future campers here would know
Our fun won't last
Cause the kids couldn't take it
When we're out of pork and beans
We must pack our things and go