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Song Parodies -> "Beets and Tomatoes"

Original Song Title:

"Streets of Laredo"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Cash

Parody Song Title:

"Beets and Tomatoes"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I'm not sure about how many verses, or who did it. I just remember it from my childhood, as well as not liking beets. Mari hates tomatoes.
I really can't stand either beets or tomatoes
If I even look at tomatoes I gag
Whoever said vegetables should be scarlet
When I buy produce, there's just greens in my bag

I can see in the market that they are on "special"
I really don't care, I am walking right by
Studies all show that the damn things aren't poisonous
I know if I bite one, I might as well die

I was once forced to eat one when I was a toddler
Just did not like it, it tasted like shit
The dog and cat shunned it, I knew that forever
That wherever I was, I would not order it

My friends say "Hey Dude, let's go order a pizza"
But I know that there's a tomato in there
So I say "forget it, let's nosh on some sushi"
And they think I'm crazy but I just don't care

I once had a basket that I had a use for
I found they were just fine for letting off rage
I went to a nightclub and watched some bad stand-up
The things were quite handy for pelting the stage

I love batting practice, I don't use a baseball
I gather up beets, my least favorite dish
I have a friend toss 'em, but not in a salad
I just love the sound that they make when they squish

So when you start cooking don't serve me that red stuff
Those beets and tomatoes might fall on the rug
And then you'll be slipping and mashing and staining
It's better than on my plate where I go "Ugh!"

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

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Johnny D - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Beets and tomatoes, yumm. Sushi....hmm....california roll.
Stuart McArthur - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Pacing perfection Rick. In Oz, every hamburger must have a slice of beetroot in it - we think it's very Australian - 555
alvin rhodes - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
veggie-licious....love the parody...love tomatoes, too...eat 'em raw with a little salt..yum......5s
Airfarcewon - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
This one's hard to beet...5all
Adagio - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Funny parody, Rick 5's. I like tomatoes with salt too, alvin.
Meriadoc - October 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I love beets; I love tomatoes. But I still love this parody!

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