hee! Great parody, but even better story. Gay cowboys? The shame! ;-) 555

Almost broke my back trying to load this gem. Sally Struthers (Yes, Archie Bunker's "Little Goil") once said, "If a man is shown chopping off a woman's breast, it gets an R rating, but if a man is shown kissing a woman's breast, it gets an X rating. Why is violence more allowable than love?" Can't be because there's more money in it, or else Ron Jeremy would have a "Will f--- for food" sign. Can't be because violence is in the Bible and sex isn't, because, well...

Nice job. Spaff, didn't your red state already ban this movie? How does it feel to be ranked right up there with the road-kill eating state of West Virginia?

excellent

I'm givin' ya fives for this fine butthole jive.

leave it to you spaff to come up with a 555 rating parody like this one

Hey! *I* was gonna say "fine butthole jive"! Excellent recording, too, as usual. Also, I must say, the second I read this news story, my first thought was that Spaff is definitely gonna do a parody about this. So, yeah, that's what happened.

I'm sure they've been doing a lot of cow-pokin' in this movie... 5's

Not your finest effort, Spaff. The contrast to "Passion of the Christ" is not accurate. Violence was not glorified, but was used in "Passion" to put the significance of Christ's sacrifice into perpective. On the other hand, it is my understanding that the homosexuality of "Brokeback Mountain" is either glorified or, at least, portrayed in a very positive light.

Also, I do commend you for properly crediting Brewster Higley and Daniel Kelley (most other HOTR parody writers credit "Traditional"), but doesn't the OS have more than one verse and chorus?

Passion of the Christ aside.... Our society has a serious hangup with gay people. Spaff, your parody does a good job of illustrating this with humor. If only our obsession with violence was replaced by one of compassion....

So John J., are you saying that only heterosexuality can be portrayed in a positive light?

Great job! 555!

Robert J., that is not what I was saying. I was trying to address what AmIRight's wittiest parodist was implying - that the same people who are turned off by the portrayal of gays in "Brokeback" are turned on by the violence in "Passion." I am arguing that this implication is incorrect because those of us who appreciate "Passion" were not "turned on" by the violence, but understood that it was used the way it was to define the sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

The other night I walked into an American bar and asked for a C***sucking Cowboy, but apparently there was a misunderstanding... they tried serving me some kind of alcoholic beverage! Funny stuff, Spaff, and 5s for wearin' them spurs all the way to the bedroom.

Thanx, Overlord Kristof & scholar rhodes & Johnglebarry & carol of the bells & St Matthias & Local Celebrity!

Michaelopedia: I've always loved that quote; I'd never heard it attributed to Mrs. Meathead. Speaking of Sally Struthers and breasts, I saw "Five Easy Pieces" right before you left that comment. I'm not kidding. Freaky.

RJP: I've said this before, but Utah is not just red, it's infrared. My homies are quick to point out that it wasn't the state of Utah that banned "Brokeback Mountain." True; it's actually doing pretty well here. But the only theater on the planet to book the movie and then refuse to show it was in Utah. Sadly, that's not all that surprising.

Claude 4 Prez: It was either gonna be this or "Gayle Ruzicka is a Crack Whore." (Go ahead - search her name in Google News.)

MacFist: Amen.

Ralphing Luke: I had a similar experience when I told a bartender I needed Jack in me.

Johnkins: Thanks for being so polite and complimentary even when you don't like my stuff. Some responses to your points:
-- I'm all for letting moviemakers make the movies they want to make, and if they want to use graphic violence to heighten the overall effect, then I'll respect their choice, whether the film is "Saving Private Ryan" or "The Passion of the Christ" or "Pulp Fiction." I feel the same way about sex in cinema. What I find twisted in our society is that people are so much more scandalized by sex (which is often a beautiful thing) than violence (which rarely is). On the night "Brokeback Mountain" was scheduled to open (but didn't) at the Megaplex 17, "Hostel" opened without a single raised eyebrow. I challenge anyone to see both movies and then tell me honestly which one they think is more morally repugnant.
-- I've heard the argument that the violence in "The Passion" was necessary to accurately depict that pivotal Bible story. I'll buy that. I'll bet you, however, that if a studio released "David and Bathsheba" with all the nudity and sex required to accurately depict *that* pivotal Bible story, the same churchgoers who defended the graphic violence in "Passion" would be aghast at the sex in "David."
-- The thought of people being "turned on" by the violence in "The Passion" hadn't occurred to me, but I appreciate your floating an idea so deliciously twisted - and for attributing it to me.
-- Finally, although I've spent nearly all of my life near "the range," if not actually *on* it, I've never once heard more than one verse and chorus of "Home on the Range." After I had completed my parody, I was looking up the authors of the original and found that it actually has something like 63 verses. I opted to leave well enough alone.

Hey, Johnny D, what happened to your comment? It was quite possibly my favorite comment of all time.

Done Googled. The "Madonna of Utah bigots", someone called her. That's saying something, I hear.

John J - ok, thanks for the explanation (I wasn't trying to put words in your mouth - just trying to understand it. thanks. Spaff - I couldn't agree more - we had an uproar over Janet Jackson's nipple but we orchestrated a war for prime time - go figure. I've said it before, if I had kids I'd prefer them seeing Janet Jackson's nipple rather than them being subjected to watching one country bombing the crap out of another country.

Nice little commentary packed into a few lines.

C4P: It is. It is indeed.
RJP: I'll admit it: I prefer sex to violence.
LOJ: Nice little comment packed into a few words.

charming little ditty. Maybe this whole thing is lost on me. There have been horror and slasher films for years and years. I grew up on them and so did my kids. This post - Ellen Degeneres movement of making seemingly every other TV show and theatrical release about gay/lesbian love is really getting out of hand in my humble opinion. Brokedick..er Brokeback Mountain garnered 8 Academy Award nominations but nobody I've talked to in my large circle of friends and acquaitances has seen it (or at least won't admit to having seen it) so apparently this movie is only for the elite of Hollywood and anyone who likes to see someone in chaps ride a pony and smoke the baloney. I am not a hardcore conservative but I think it's time for some of these liberal groups to start policing themselves a little better. This is obviously an adult film. People have the right to make this film just as others have the right to decide to see it or stay away from the theatres.The nitwits I have a problem with are the ones who want to bring these movies and ideas into the public school systems in order to promote acceptance of diverse lifestyles. W-R-O-N-G!!!!!!!!! I would like to go on record as saying I asolutely love Ellen Degeneres. She is a very funny entertainer. I've gone on long enough. I yield the floor.

Ha! Nice one, Mark. You got me. I *totally* thought that was a real comment, right up until the "I'm not a homophobe; I like Ellen" bit.