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Song Parodies -> "I'm My Own Girlfriend"

Original Song Title:

"I'm My Own Grampa"

Original Performer:

Guy Lombardo

Parody Song Title:

"I'm My Own Girlfriend"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Always hard to do a comedy song of a comedy song. But if you want something done right......you know the rest.
Many, many years ago when I was 24
I couldn't get attention, and I couldn't ever score
I found that I was flexible enough to bend and fold
The farther that I bent on down meant less was in the cold

This made my head the one I love and it became my gal
I found it very satisfying for my little pal
I didn't need to brave the bars or risk some weird disease
Just bought myself a drink, I only had myself to please

I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
That I'm always set to go
I'm my own girlfriend

A little lively music sort of puts me in the mood
A little wine, a little chat, a little home-cooked food
Sometimes my mother calls and asks if I have found "The One"
I tell her yes, and if they met she'd love her like a son

How happier I've been since I developed this cute trick
Though chiropractors I employ to fix my spinal crick
And sometimes in the mirror I think this is sort of gay
But a little rouge and lipstick and those thoughts just go away

I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a job that's good to blow
I'm my own girlfriend

Whenever I come home real late, I never criticize
When e'er I need to tinkle I just sing and harmonize
Togetherness like this cannot be found with anyone
Although we can't go public, or society would shun

Now I'm a little older and I'm not quite so elastic
But still my top half loves the rest, and it is still fantastic
And best of all, I'll never leave me, and you all know why
If that should ever happen I just know I'll up and die

I'm my own girlfriend
I'm my own girlfriend
When I'm ready I know
It's a love I won't outgrow
I'm my own girlfriend

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 36

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 2
 2
 
 4   4
 3
 5
 
 5   29
 31
 28
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm getting weird images here today and this is the wierdest...."Though chiropractors I employ to fix my spinal crick" lol 5's (Although I spent the entire song imagining the contortions)
Johnny D - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
Keep writing parodies this deep and you'll get the bends.
John Barry - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
15 vertebrae.
Righty - December 01, 2004 - Report this comment
I've heard of a guy who did something like this, though he didn't carry it to such extremes. By the way, the one line would pace a little better if it said "...that I'm all set to go."
Claude Prez - December 02, 2004 - Report this comment
Ow. This is great.
Bob Konigsberg - December 06, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, I can see why this hasn't been done (yet?) at the coffeehouse.
Scathe - January 08, 2005 - Report this comment
(sotm) Nice pacing.
Agrimorfee - January 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I found it hard to swallow, but 555 anyway. (;))
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - January 12, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Sounds like the perfect auto-fellationship! This parody was utterly hilarious, Rick. 555
Know 1 can hear you dream - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Unless I get severe osteoporosis(God forbid) or gets johnwaynebobbited (GOD FORBID) I will never be able judge this parody from a point of experice. So I'll just judge it from a point of LOL which means some 5s.
Spaff.com - January 16, 2005 - Report this comment
Easily the best lyrics about autofellating I've ever read. I had heard of the original, but never actually heard it, so I found an MP3 of an old version by "Lonzo & Oscar." Hilarious - thanks for introducing me to that. And the parody measures up well thanks to the tremendous wit throughout. (I was going to start quoting favorite bits but there are too many of them.) Excellent.
Claude Prez - January 17, 2005 - Report this comment
Still in pain from the first time. Laughing so hard I mean.
Paul Robinson - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Rick, can't recall how the Guy Lombardo song goes...but this was incredibly funny...kinda put a new spin and some interesting imagery to the sentiment behind "Love The One Your With", though...hmmm....maybe a parody idea there...
Phil Alexander - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought I'd commented on this already... this one deserves a big hand... er... to go down in history.. er.. or something like that :-)
Chris Bodily TM - January 25, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought Tom "Mr. Stupid" Arnold was the original artist from watching the movie "The Stupids." That was hysterical, and I would love to laugh at this parody. This is a job well done. 5-5-5.
Peregrin - January 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Good one Rick, I really enjoyed this.
Johnny D - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above, or below.
Arwen - January 27, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--just when I thought the original couldn't be any funnier...nice work, Rick!
Stuart McArthur - January 28, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) that's hilarious Rick - do you swallow??
John Jenkins - January 30, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well rhymed with a lot of good lines, particularly "love her like a son."
2nz - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
See, that's why the law makes no sense. Love is beautiful in all it's forms. A man should be allowed to marry himself if he wants to... or would that screw up the relationship?
Tim Mayfield - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good job.
Jeff Reuben - January 31, 2005 - Report this comment
Good job...got to learn a new original song too!
Meriadoc - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I was LOL to this one!
Kristof Robertson - February 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS Rick, but LOL anyway!
martha - February 08, 2005 - Report this comment
That was so sickl!!!! terrible Rick!!!

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