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Song Parodies -> "I Am The Very Model of a Rabbinic Authority"
Original Song Title:
"I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General"
Original Performer:
Gilbert & Sullivan
Parody Song Title:
"I Am The Very Model of a Rabbinic Authority"
Parody Written by:
MasonR
The Lyrics
Written for a comedy skit to be performed by some friends on the Jewish holiday of Purim, which is coming up soon. Lots of inside jokes here and unfamiliar terms for those not fluent in Hebrew but if you're an observant Jew (or are, in fact, a Rabbi) this should have you rolling on the floor. Trust me on this.
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
Elucidating Halacha, I go with the majority
I know when forks are milk or meat or when they've achieved pareve-ety
I sign a three-year contract and I take a vow of poverty
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters matrimonial
I've signed my share of Ketubot, served beit dins acrimonial
I teach the teens that things obscene are not appropriate for Jews
I wish that they'd give me a break and stop watching the evening news
Board of Directors:
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
They say I'm good at counsel wise, a modern day-type Solomon
At board meetings I'm shouted down and stifle my opin-i-ons
I don't believe in "K'li Shlishi," and many think that's radical
The day that I work hardest, it is usually Sabbatical
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
At Kiddush, members praise my speech and frankly, that stuff swells my head
Except for some contrarians, who tell me that I should drop dead
I parse the Parsha every week and always find new things to say
I know that I'm successful when eyes close, and people drift away
Board of Directors:
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
I read Ivrit and Rashi script and Babylonic cuneiform
I wear a hat and tzitzit out, that is part of my uniform
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
My rules on what is Kosher can effect taste epicurious
That buggy broccoli must go. The restauranteurs are furious
In matters controversial I always seek the middle road
Except with gays and women's rights. Those issues make my head explode!
In synagogue we're proud that all our services do start on time
But there are many latecomers. I'd like to change that paradigm
The Kiddush club meets every week. By Mussaf my flock's drunk on Gin
If they persist on doing this I very damn well might join in
Board of Directors:
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
My beard is long and straggly. I mostly rule quite centrally.
Some think my mode of dress and thinking's from another century.
But still, in matters halachic I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
But still, in matters halachic I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
Elucidating Halacha, I go with the majority
I know when forks are milk or meat or when they've achieved pareve-ety
I sign a three-year contract and I take a vow of poverty
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters matrimonial
I've signed my share of Ketubot, served beit dins acrimonial
I teach the teens that things obscene are not appropriate for Jews
I wish that they'd give me a break and stop watching the evening news
Board of Directors:
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
He wishes they'd give him a break and stop watching the evening news
They say I'm good at counsel wise, a modern day-type Solomon
At board meetings I'm shouted down and stifle my opin-i-ons
I don't believe in "K'li Shlishi," and many think that's radical
The day that I work hardest, it is usually Sabbatical
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
At Kiddush, members praise my speech and frankly, that stuff swells my head
Except for some contrarians, who tell me that I should drop dead
I parse the Parsha every week and always find new things to say
I know that I'm successful when eyes close, and people drift away
Board of Directors:
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
He knows that he's successful when eyes close and people drift away
I read Ivrit and Rashi script and Babylonic cuneiform
I wear a hat and tzitzit out, that is part of my uniform
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
In short, in matters halachic, I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
My rules on what is Kosher can effect taste epicurious
That buggy broccoli must go. The restauranteurs are furious
In matters controversial I always seek the middle road
Except with gays and women's rights. Those issues make my head explode!
In synagogue we're proud that all our services do start on time
But there are many latecomers. I'd like to change that paradigm
The Kiddush club meets every week. By Mussaf my flock's drunk on Gin
If they persist on doing this I very damn well might join in
Board of Directors:
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
If they persist on doing this he very damn well might join in
My beard is long and straggly. I mostly rule quite centrally.
Some think my mode of dress and thinking's from another century.
But still, in matters halachic I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
But still, in matters halachic I go with the majority
I am the very model of a Rabbinic authority
Parody lyrics copyright 2009 by Mason Resnick
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| 5 | 11 | 12 | 13 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Great job on a tough OS. Loved the idea.
I don't usually plug my own stuff in the comments section, but you might get a kick out of this one
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/franksinatra18.shtml
I don't usually plug my own stuff in the comments section, but you might get a kick out of this one
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/franksinatra18.shtml
That song has been done so many times that I thought somebody would get around to Hebrew. Good job.
Oy gevalt! This is good.
Thanks Inviz, 2Eagle & John!
can't pretend i understood the whole thing but dug it anyway
This is a great example of a parody, rabbinical
Of major gen'ral rabbi-ness, it really is the pinnacle
It oozes lots of Jewish in-jokes, you can feel the quality
So mazel tov young Mason and your Rabbinic Authority
Of major gen'ral rabbi-ness, it really is the pinnacle
It oozes lots of Jewish in-jokes, you can feel the quality
So mazel tov young Mason and your Rabbinic Authority
Thanks alvin and especially Phil for calling me "young."
I could just picture the little fat rabbi dominating the stage. The board of directors as chorus is brilliant!!!
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