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Song Parodies -> "I Use a Rhyming Dictionary to Complete My Parodies"

Original Song Title:

"I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Use a Rhyming Dictionary to Complete My Parodies"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

I use a rhyming dictionary to complete my parodies
I know that some would think that I'm a writer with a brain disease
But I think that a tool designed to finish lines with greater ease
Should not be shunned if it can give my rhymes a greater expertise

I'm well aware when using it there's never any guarantees
That I will find a word that fits like honey fits with honey bees
But often when I find my writer's brain is in a rhyming freeze
I'll open up that book and there's a rhyme that fits as good as these

(He'll open up that book and there's a rhyme that fits as good as these)
(He'll open up that book and there's a word that rhymes with "japanese")
(He'll open up that book and there are rhymes in ones and twos and threes )

I'm pretty good with meter and the margarine that's metaphor
I'll add alliteration 'cause it's always something I adore
But sometimes when I'm rhyming it becomes a complicated chore
To find a word that rhymes with that which finished up the line before

(Yes sometimes when he's rhyming it becomes a complicated chore)
(To find a word that rhymes with that which finished up the line before)

And sometimes it surprises me to learn there are so many rhymes
For words like acrobatic, incubation, chill, and even chimes
And my vocabulary keeps increasing each and every time
I use my rhyming dictionary to retrieve a word like "syme"

There's those who claim they'd rather have a case of compound STDs
Than use assistance when they write their pure and perfect parodies
And if you're one of those who doesn't like my rhyming strategies
You do not have to use them, you can write your lines the way you please

(You do not have to use them, you can write your lines the way you please)
(You do not have to use them, everybody that I've polled agrees)
(You do not have to use them, you can steal a rhyme of B.I.G's)

Besides my printed copy there are sites out on the internet
That conjure up a rhyme so quick I never have to break a sweat
I pull them up and type in that I need a rhyme for "silhouette"
And quicker than a blink I get my choice of "debt" or "jet" or "wet"

Now I have learnt a lot of rhymes by using this quite helpful tool
It's just like diving deep into a rhyming-word filled swimming pool
And if you say that it's a crutch and proves that I am just a fool
I'll say that learning didn't end the day that I got out of school

(He'll say that learning didn't end the day that he got out of school)
(He'll say that you should live your life according to the golden rule)
(He'll say that if you take a look you just might think it's pretty cool)

And now here in the final verse I'll say it's been a real delight
To tell you of the method that resolves my constant rhyming plight
But best of all I get to upload every word to Chucky's site
And finally say I've posted "Major General" on AmIRight!

(Yes, best of all he gets to upload every word to Chucky's site)
(And finally say he's posted "Major General" on AmIRight!)
Lyrics copyright 2006 Rex Ungericht. All rights reserved.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 25

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   24
 23
 23
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Fantastic addition to the G&S collection...reads as smooth as honey on velvet...Some great lines, like..."Steal from B.I.G" and the idea of "A rhyme filled swimming pool"
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
AFW: Honey on Velvet? I can imagine two possible interpretations for that phrase, both related, and both going directly to whatfreaks if ever turned into a song, Rex's rhyming dictionary used or not! :-)
John Barry - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Bravo!! 5-5-5
Cat - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
Stunning, Rex. And I'm very grateful I'm not the only one who uses rhyming dictionaries, although I do only really use it as a last resort. Is it too early to say a definite contender for March SOTM?
alvin rhodes - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
...and i think you used most of the words in that dictionary in your ditty.....an amazing piece...5s plus
Cat - March 11, 2006 - Report this comment
And I understand the feeling of satisfaction you got from posting this, Rex...granted, I'm a long way off from the Major-General, but a week back I was really grateful to have finally finished and posted my Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald parody.
Red Ant - March 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow, great work here, especially varying each line of the 3-peat choruses.
John Jenkins - March 12, 2006 - Report this comment
I like the "margarine" metaphor; although, to me, good metaphors are more like desserts (meringue pie?) than lubricants. And I like the "meter/margarine/metaphor" and "add/alliteration/always/adore" alliterations.
Larry Hensley - March 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Amazing parody!
Rick C - March 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent, Rex! Lots of great lines and rhyming. 555
Rex - March 12, 2006 - Report this comment
Many thanks all. I was amazed at how quickly this came together - my subconcious must have been working on it for quite a while. John - I was really thinking of a "subtitute for the original" with margarine, not a lubricant. :-)
Stuart McArthur - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Fantastic, Rex - great idea and I loved the way you varied the three-line repeats - one of your best - 555
Tommy Turtle - March 13, 2006 - Report this comment
Always admire astute alliteration myself, and amused to apprehend another AmIRighter who remembers when "pace" was called "meter, but did you have to give away our secret??? Archives thrive as Fives arrive, no jive.
Luke Brattoni - March 15, 2006 - Report this comment
Well done indeed, 555. Hmm, parodying a rhyming dictionary, there's an idea...
thegerb - July 25, 2009 - Report this comment
That's a lovely piece of complicated meta-poetry. I truly enjoyed every line of this grandiose song marquee. And for those of you who can count linguistics as their cup of tea. You'll note that thegerb's comment attempts the same rhyming strategy. (Poorly...)

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