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Song Parodies -> "I Am The Very Model Of A Mod'rate Centrist Democrat (Obama)"

Original Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General"

Original Performer:

Gilbert & Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am The Very Model Of A Mod'rate Centrist Democrat (Obama)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

The POTUS seems to be trying to re-invent himself as a Moderate, after running as a sharply-Left candidate in 2008. Maybe the shell-acking (sorry! ;) his party took in the 2010 mid-term elections had something to do with that? ;)

Pacing note: TT has never seen the original show or any subsequent versions/movies, so his MGs (all twelve of them ;) followed what seems to be the very common practice here of using 16-syllable lines throughout. Andy Primus, who *has* seen the opera in its (and his) native country, and Fiddlegirl, who has both seen it and performed in the orchestra for it, both advise that the third line in the echo triplets is 18 syllables. TT verified that at this source. ...Of course, ours won't echo (echo)[echo], but will be varied, as per usual practice of varying choruses.


PRESIDENT OBAMA:

I am the very model of a mod’rate centrist Democrat
Bipartisan as any man; Diplomacy? A gem at that
I charm, beguile, with Reagan’s smile: Salute the Stars and Stripes with pride   [1]
Share folksy, homespun anecdotes like FDR at fireside

Like LBJ, I dream someday of building "Great Society"
But quite agree with Calvin C.: Should exercise propriety   [2]
Though oft confused with Carter's views, and some that are Clintonian

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Carter, Clinton ... How to distance myself? ... Got it!

[resume singing]
The Right should cheer! They need not fear! I'm really Jeffersonian!


MEMBERS OF WHITE HOUSE STAFF AND PRESS CORPS:

Tea Party sneer? Should hold him dear! He’s really Jeffersonian!
(Except for economics, where he’s rather Hamiltonian)
He promises "transparency"; will never be Nixoni-crony-an!

[TT chimes in from behind the curtain:]
But poor B.O. will never know the title of "Chelonian"! ;)


OBAMA:

I stick with fluffy rhetoric; my speeches never spun offense
In matters controversial, I come down squarely on the fence
In short, though millions worship me and tell me just how swell I am
From day to day, I'm sad to say I don't know who the hell I am


GEN X VOTERS:   [3]

We chant for "Hope" and "Change" with him, while swaying in a Zen-ny way
The content doesn’t matter much, ‘cause we’re not thinking anyway


OBAMA:

At making stirring speeches, I’ve been told I’ve an affinity
For setting hearts aflutter in the manner of John "Kinnidy"
If more like he, you'd oft find me in Monaco and Cannes to sport
Alas for me, no Jackie B. or compound in Hyannisport   [4]

But I digress -- admit I'm blessed with vocal talents flexible
To sell folks on my spending sprees and larger tax collexible
I fool them all; my words enthrall while treading down the mediant

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Pandering to the masses? ... Got it!

[resume singing]
And saying anything that proves politic'lly expedient

I move to middle just a little, showing I'm obedient --
-- To voters' choice. I've heard their voice, but B.S.: main ingredient
It's all for show as off I go; doff label of "heart, bleedy-edient"

I really am a marvel; I’ve a Shaman-like ability
To usher in the dawning of "New Era of Civility"
Although I skewer GOP (call "her" a b**ch and "him" a rat)
In public, I’m the *model* of a mod’rate centrist Democrat!

In short, in things political, I'm highly hypocritical
Appearing analytical, truth: barely diacritical

In fact, although in heart, I know economy's unravelin'
Why, I can sell the Right: I'm Laissez-Faire, then China, travelin'
I put on airs as "sporty"'; take on guises: Libertariat
Though I don't know precisely what that means, like Rahm, I'm very "that"

My econ' plan: Print all they can: the Fed, of "funny monery"
I tell the crowd: of that, I'm proud! All better off, long runnery!
A balanced budget? Sure! I'll fudge it, wrapped in words creationist   [5]

[pause, then continue, speaking]
Balance the budget *and* reduce unemployment? ... Got it!

[resume singing]
Assure the mobs I'll save their jobs with policies inflationist

I'll tell them, "True! I'm just like you! I'm fiscally conservative"
But point of fact: It's all an act; of office, it's preservative
Repeat the lie, and by and by, they'll think that I'm deserve-to-servative

The voters chafe? I'll keep them safe! Save Social (in-)Security
About that tide of red ink: hide. Books, juggle to obscurity   [5]
I'll be long gone before those bonds come close to their maturity   [6]
You need not sweat. We'll pass the debt onto your poor posturity!

The Right: still shrill? Their swill, I'll still, regardless of what phlegm is spat:
Remake myself the model of a mod'rate centrist Democrat!


[A Tea Party member approaches the President, and asks:]
Can you change into one of us, really quickly?

[The President fires his entire staff, and says to his wife:]
"Mi-chelle, text to Sarah Palin, she's VP!"



[1] Remember the brouhaha over his refusal to wear an American flag lapel pin during the debates?

[2] Calvin Coolidge, who advocated limited government and fiscal restraint

[3] Obama’s victory was due in large degree to Gen X voters, who were wooed by extremely well-orchestrated Internet and television campaigns featuring well-known young celebrities, television moguls like Norman Lear, and endorsements from comedian Jon Stewart, whose "Daily Show" is a major go-to source for Gen X and Y. (Yes, boys and girls, the future of America rests on those who think that Comedy Central is a viable provider of news analysis… Heaven help us.)

(TT replies to FG's astute analysis above: "Well, unlike Keith Olbermann, at least Stewart & Co. don't claim to be real journalists." ;-D )

[4] Double-shot: Mrs. Kennedy’s maiden name of Bouvier, and the Kennedy family's rustic retreat in Massachusetts.

[5] These lines are *not* jokes, alas. Accounting chicanery, *especially* with Social Security, but in other aspects as well, actually *understates* the deficits.

[6] I. e., the Treasury bonds sold (= borrowing money) to finance the $14 trillion+ national debt, of which about $2 trillion are currently held by China. Before borrowing any more money that we can't repay when the bonds "mature" (come due), would Congress and POTUS please keep in mind that they outnumber us by about four to one?

TT finds the consistent 16-syllable construction more euphonious, but it's G & S's show, and they're not around to argue the point. ;)

© 2011 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   8
 7
 8
 

User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
FG/TT - It takes a Clinton to pull off such a maneuver (BTW, what are his "lifeling views" and convictions this week?). True, some of the professors have been replaced with professionals. But the czars and policies are still in place, so the changes are merely cosmetic. Anyway, this is choice...deft humor delivered with the skill of a violin-playing tortoise! Keep writing, good friends! ;D
Patrick - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Liked the lines "don't know who the hell I am" and the Gen X crowd "not thinking anyway". A very complex song with lots of wonderful rhymes and word creation. I'm still working on my version, but it's going to take some time. Glad to have you back. It's going to be fun watching Obama try to turn himself into Ronald Reagan. Right now, though, I bet he's watching the events in Egypt and secretly talking to Mubarak trying to learn how to shut down the internet.
TJC - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Wow! This goes beyond 'master class' all the way to 'master fête'! Absolutely incredible word-smithery on display you two--not to mention all the 'smitheryin' of 'gisms of yer own creation (ie, Nixoni-crony-an, deserve-to-servative, funny monery). A perfect model from start to apoco-lipstchick-on-pig finish!
Mark Scotti - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Ahhhh, the REAL State Of The Union speech...LOL(and brilliant)
Tommy Turtle - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Old Man Ribber: With all that skill at "cosmetics", could he get a job with Mary Kay in 2012? ;-D (thanks)

Patrick: I cannot tell a lie (Well, I can, but won't - at least, here. ;) -- both of the lines you cited were FG's, and I liked them as much as you, instantly upon receipt. ... Ironic if O tries to shut down the Net, since, as FG points out in note [3], the Net is pretty much what got him elected in the first place. But yeah, if the webtide is turning against him -- scary thought. (For one thing, no more AIR -- arrggghhh! ;) Thanks for v/c.

TJC: (sorry, still trying to count the layers of puneologistics in that compound adjective at the end ;) What can I say? "Thanks", but that's a gross understatement. ;-D

Mark Scotti: LOL @ real SOTU!!! Thanks, Mark!!!
Andria - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Good one...hopefully Obama will be able to turn things around, but I doubt it. It will take many presidents and many years to fix the things Reagan and G.H.W. Bush f**ed up, Clinton failed to fix, and G.W. Bush f**ed up or made worse, and more than likely by that time, Chucky G will have turned AIR over to someone else due to old age or it won't exist at all, AFW, Alvin and John Barry will be resting in Valhalla with Malcolm Higgins, and Andria will be dead with a bunch of people squabbling over her estate. 5s.
Fiddlegirl - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
OMR: Anyone who actually uses their brain shouldn't be fooled; unfortunately, those numbers seem to be in decline. :( Thanks as always for v/c!

Patrick: Do you think he has the jelly beans on his desk yet? ;) I hope he's watching the news, and not just leaving it to his advisors while he pens yet another book.

TJC: Thanks! I don't think I can top "apocolipshtick..." either, so I won't even try. :)

Mark Scotti! Nothing "real" about O's SOTU, I'm afraid-- but at least *you* know better! :) Thanks for v/c

Andria: Thanks for v/c. I'll leave the political history and analysis to TT-- I'm sure he'll put things much more succinctly than I can. I suspect, though, that much of the trouble started with FDR's "New Deal", and were compounded by LBJ's "Great Society" initiatives. In any case, if you still have an estate to squabble over at the end, you may be one of the lucky ones. Cheers to you, and thanks for v/c!
Christie Marie M - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Welcome back, FG and TT!! Well, just so you know (everyone), I've been in and out of AIR for awhile. Nice to see you write this political ditty and turn this into a musical. No offense about Obama, but at first I thought I had lost faith in him since the economy has gotten worse and thought that he's not trying to resolve that problem, but I guess it would be a matter of time. But on the positive side, I would believe Obama may find ways to resolve the issue. I do love your Major Modern parodies and well written as always. 555's as usual!
CMM again - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
One other thing I left out that if this was written as a musical, I'm wondering who would be cast as Obama, members of White House, and Gen X. This would be a perfect musical theme.
Dave W. - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Bravo....Standing O...Way to go....Wanna know...How long did you work on this one?
John Jenkins - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Fantastic stuff! I like the creatve rhyming particularly deserve-to-servative. And I don't see that G&S rhymed the 4th and 8th syllables of almost every line, so you get extra credit for that. Unfortunately, President Obama is not a Jefferson or a Coolidge. We need more statesmen like those two, instead of more politicians like most current office holders.
Tommy Turtle - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
Andria: Actually, FG didn't go back quite far enough. Woodrow Wilson (1913) was the enabler for FDR and all miscreants who followed. If you're truly interested in the root of our current economic problems, we've given the entire history here:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/donmclean152.shtml
(Doesn't count as a shameless plug, as it answers Andria's questions. ;) ... I wish O would turn around, so that he could turn things around, but it's not looking likely. Cheers indeed, and thanks for the v/c!

Christie Marie M: Welcome back to you!! ... I don't keep up with actors, celebs, etc., so I'll have to leave the casting to you, but if you find a backer to make it a musical, you'll get Executive Producer credit ("Executive" -- oh, TT! ;) plus a cut of the profits. :-D   Thanks for v/c!!

Dave W.: LOL @ "Standing O"! and the verse form. A punster/poet after our own hearts!
As for how long to write, we don't punch a clock ;), but it was written over this past weekend, in bits and pieces, which is the nature of an e-mail collaboration. (FG and TT live a good distance apart, and have never actually met. Just one of those e-matches made in parody heaven. ;-)
          So, one sends a draft, or some lines; eventually, the other replies; lather, rinse, repeat -- in between the usual weekend stuff: catching up on chores and trying to have some semblance of a Real Life. ;) I can't speak for how long FG spent on her end (ponders whether to rephrase that ;-D), but moi, probably a total of few hours over the weekend, and a couple more late Sunday night polishing the final product, formatting (links, etc.), proofreading in the submission edit box, etc. (To paraphrase GWB's 2000 campaign slogan, 'We're both the writters, but I'm the submitter" -- for knowledge of links and such.)
          Are you sure you want to know how long TT spends on some of his solo outings? He readily admits to being a freak of nature who once composed a short parody in his head in three minutes while in the shower (hurry up and dry off; get to puter before it's forgotten).
                    This is TT's 13th Maj-Gen, so the OS scheme is pretty well embedded in his reptilian pea-brain. This parody of the same OS (Maj-Gen) was written in two hours flat:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertsullivan91.shtml
after a phone call with TJC produced the inspiration (TJ can witness that the song arrived in that time).

This "Blinded By The Light" was also two hours, but reader discretion advised: it's on the "spicy" side, which is not to everyone's taste:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/manfredmannsearthband7.shtml
Last plug: Probably 12 hours, but it's a 7-minute+ OS, which was reprised to about 9 minutes, and it's a group tribute to *200* writers here:
http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/bonnietyler44.shtml

On a more modest note, TT's first "American Pie" gelled over a period of about five months -- had the theme, and whenever lines came to mind (grocery store, driving, sleeping, having s*x, etc. - heh! ;), they were scrawled down. No plug-link, but I'm sure you know how to find it. ... Everything else: Somewhere in between. Thanks for v/c.
Tommy Turtle - January 31, 2011 - Report this comment
John Jenkins: Thank you, Sir! Sorry that we cross-posted -- your comment came up while TT was composing his usual prolix replies above.

Yes, adding internal rhymes is a fun challenge for the writers, and many readers seem to enjoy it, too. I agree about the need for more Jeffersons and Coolidges, and fewer (none!) professional sleazebag politicians (please pardon my redundancy), but could they even get elected in these days of log-rolling and video sound bytes? I fear not...
          Your comments are welcome as always. Thanks for taking the time to read, vote, and comment.
Fiddlegirl - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
@ CMM: Good to see you again! Thank you for kind v/c. I like the idea of the "Big O" musical, particularly since the Prez is so smooth with a song and dance... Unfortunately, I'm afraid it would come in waaaaaaay over budget...! ;)

Dave W: LOL! Diggin the rhyming comment, as TT said. :)

John Jenkins: Always appreciative of your comments. It would be refreshing to have people elected who cared more about our country than their legacy, wouldn't it? But it does seem, as TT observed, that the type of people we want to see in office are not the type of people who seem to win elections. Even if they do, they're chewed up and spit out pretty quickly by the political machine. :(
Mark Scotti - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
To TT & The Fiddler, check out my Christmas Opus about the TSA: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/brucespringsteen30.shtml
TT & FG @ Mark Scotti - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Both read & v/c'd. Good one!
Andria - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
TT: I too have composed parodies and written them in my head while taking a shower. With the amount of time it takes to wash my hair, I can do a lot with an OS and some words inside my head. Waiting in line at the bank, grocery store or an office, rush-hour traffic and working out are also times where I have composed parodies.
TT @ Andriw - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
Well, I have a lot less hair than you do.;... ;) ;) ;)
Andria @ TT - February 01, 2011 - Report this comment
You've seen what my hair looks like, and I know what TT's head looks like on his site. The difference is like night & day.

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