CAPT & CHORUS SONG

CAPT:
I am the Captain of the Punafore!

ALL:
And you serve a lot of rowdy lunks

CAPT:
I see you all are loaded
And I must have been railroaded
Into running a tab for drunks

ALL:
You are very, very right
We are feeling pretty tight
One more round for this bunch of drunks

CAPT:
I am not allowed a beer
I must keep mentally clear
Though I love a drink or three
I've seen what beer can do
And I might end up like you
So I never touch the big, big B.

ALL:
What never?

CAPT:
No, Never!

ALL:
What Never?

CAPT:
Well, hardly ever...

ALL:
Hardly ever drinks the big, big B.
Let's drink three beers and one beer more
For the sober captain of the punafore
Let's drink three beer and one beer more for...
The captain of the Punafore

CAPT:
I try my best to serve you one and all

ALL:
And you see us under tables lie

CAPT:
I apparently succeed
But I'm getting pretty tee'd
For your tabs are running rather high

ALL:
He's getting pretty tee'd
For we suffer from the need
And we've let our tabs grow high

CAPT:
I hope you understand
That you owe a couple grand
And you should be paying me
But I'm such a mellow guy
Though I really don't know why
I never call the big, big C

ALL:
What never?

CAPT:
No, never

ALL:
What, never?

CAPT:
Well, hardly ever.

ALL:
Hardly ever calls the big, big C
Let's drink three beers and one beer more
For the wimpy captain of the Punafore
Let's drink three beers and one beer more for.
The captain of the Punafore!
(Cheering)