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Song Parodies -> "I Am An Acolyte Of The Invisible Pink Unicorn"

Original Song Title:

"The Major-General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Am An Acolyte Of The Invisible Pink Unicorn"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Another one about The Invisible Pink Unicorn
ACOLYTE:
I am an acolyte of the Invisible Pink Unicorn
Our holy books are written in invisible pink cuneiform
The object of our faith has paradoxical ability
To demonstrate both pinkness and a lack of visibility

We follow her and try and emulate her unicorn-y ways
And when we have our time off work, it's for religious horny-days
Our faith is ridiculed by unbelievers as plain risible
But there are some advantages to holy books, invisible

ALL:
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible
There are some advantages to holy books, invisible

ACOLYTE:
Because no one can read the text, we make up our own holy laws
It means that nobody will ever, EVER, die in holy wars
On Horny Days we dance in our invisible pink uniform
We are the acolytes of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

ALL:
On Horny Days we dance in our invisible pink uniform
We are the acolytes of the Invisible Pink Unicorn

ACOLYTE:
The Fly'ng Spaghetti Monster is an upstart, and a scary 'un
There ain't no way I ever would become a Pastafarian
And all those guys who say they've felt his Noodly Appendages
Should suffer the same fate as Shadrach, Meshach and Abendnages
But FSM can't take on IPU, I'll tell you now for why:
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.

ALL:
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.
It's way too hard to rhyme it, and to make it scan? Don't even try.

ACOLYTE:
I'll point out the sarcastic truth, in case you might have missed it all:
Invisible Pink Unicorn simply does not exist at all
She's somewhat metaphorical to show the world the way it is
But isn't really different to all the other deities
Just think of all the gods who have been worshipp-ed historic'y
But now we know are volcanoes or weather (metaphoric'ly)
Years ago a god of trees was not considered odd at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all

ALL:
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all
But now there really isn't any reason for a god at all

ACOLYTE:
I wonder if by now you see the world the way I say it is
A mind is way too powerful a tool to waste on deities
And there's all sorts of worthwhile things your brain is so much better for
Than blindly and unthinkingly a-worshipping a metaphor

ALL:
And there's all sorts of worthwhile things your brain is so much better for
Than blindly and unthinkingly a-worshipping a metaphor

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 18

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   2
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 2
 
 5   14
 16
 15
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin rhodes - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
i'm tickled pink...5s
Rick C - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Happy Horny Days ! :-) 555
Robert Mackle - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
You're my hero Phil :)
Michael Pacholek - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Pink unicorn? Are you sure you're not seeing pink elephants? (An old U.S. term for someone who's drunk.)
carol - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
a bouquet of pink carnations and three 5's
Adam Eccleshall - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Down with the FSM! The IPU rules all! Long live the IPU!

Excellent song :-)
Spaff.com - September 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I've never seen the Invisible Pink Unicorn, which is further proof that she is, in fact, invisible. Thanks for introducing us, Philbo. And you've pulled off yet another entertaining parody of "Major-General." You were the first Amirighter to do one of those, right? I enjoy them so much that I'm thinking I'll have to post one myself one of these days. Like maybe tomorrow.
Phil Alexander - September 28, 2005 - Report this comment
MP - I think they must be invisible pink elephants, Michael
Spaff - I was? (checks.. oh, I was). They are so much fun, though: I'd set myself a limit of 3 parodies per OS, but simply couldn't resist this idea. I keep having good ideas for this song, though: it's most frustrating. I may well be tempted into an Iraqi "They'll have the very model of American democracy", as it would be unlike any other M-G parody I've seen so far. I look forward to seeing the first Spafflicating one.
Everyone else: Thanks :-)
stuart mcarthur - September 28, 2005 - Report this comment
brilliant stuff, Phil - lovely roll-off-the-tongue stuff - and I loved pastafarian - so (and I know this has been asked before)(...er, and I know it's metaphorical and all) but how do they know she's pink? - 555 (...er, and I know that's probably the gag and all...)
Martin Willett - October 05, 2005 - Report this comment
Somebody gave you ones? Burn the heretic!
Lifeliver - October 28, 2012 - Report this comment
I recently discovered the random button too, which revealed this 7-year-old masterpiece. Ingenious rhyming (abednages, scary'un, say it is, cunieform stand out) and the parody has a coherent, substantial message. Not hard to figure out why you got a 1-bomb - I've had those for the same reasons. Tangible 555s and the documented, corroborated existence of my congratulations.

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