On a stage in a studio a little green frog
Sighed Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
And I said to him Kermy, say, isn't it odd
You say Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
Do you feel that you've given her way too much flak
Knowing she's loving you, are you loving her back
But the look in his eyes showed a different track
For Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy

He ranted that she never let him relax
This Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
And said she was the cause of his schizoid attacks
Was Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
And how he'd played a joke on her... just for fun
With a knife and an axe and an abattoir gun
And I said to him Kermit, oh what have you done
With Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy

Then he showed me his hands, they were bloody and red
Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
And he lifted in triumph the dismembered head
Of Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy
Then he went back to making his fresh apple sauce
To put on his dinner - t'was roast pork, of course
As he tucked in, he sighed as though feeling remorse:
Ah... Piggy, Miss Piggy, Miss Piggy