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Song Parodies -> "I Do Not Know The Model Of This Modem Data General"

Original Song Title:

"The Major-General's Song"

Original Performer:

Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:

"I Do Not Know The Model Of This Modem Data General"

Parody Written by:

Guy DiRito

The Lyrics

Caller:
I am so very baffled by this modem Data General,
No information's routable, bandable, or signable,
I know it rings and pings and sees remote end sites most logical,
From Washington to Waterloo and right back to the capitol.
A trace route tracked as it chained through, its patterns looked quite logical,
Through HYPERLAN end stations did not stumble-on erratical,
About ethereal theorem it's seeming there's a lot of views,
With many garbled facts about software that says you've got to use.

Tech Support:
There's many garbled facts about software they say you've go to use,
Caller:
Can any modem FAX run this software they say you've got to use?
Tech Support:
Not any modem FAX supports software, I'd say you'd have to choose.

Tech Support:
Connectors should be serial then peripheral calls the bus,
It must be so specific or your pingings are anomalous,
And do you know the model of this modem Data General?
Caller:
No information's legible, scanable or tenable.

Caller:
In short, no info's legible, scanable or tenable.
I do not know the model of this modem Data General.

Caller:
This is a cryptic mystery, it tries to send and then it locks,
Should I run diagnostics, or would that erase my data blocks?
Tech Support:
Take note that diagnostics could provide results anomalous,
'Lectronics they can store peculiarities autonomous.

Caller:
You can tell undoubt I'm baffled from the signal strength atrophy,
Tech Support:
Could be the domain forrest is all clogged in it's telephony,
Caller:
Now I've become confused at which I've heard the modem's din before,
It whistled I declare though now I cannot hear it anymore.

Tech Support:
It whistled you declare though now you cannot hear it anymore?
And now you are confused at which you heard the modem's din before?
Caller:
It whistled I declare though now I cannot hear it anymore.

Tech Support:
Make sure that all your modem scripts are logical and uniform,
Attention now to detail or you may as well write cuneiform.
Caller:
In short, in matters routable, bandable, or signable,
This is a flakey model of a modem Data General.

Tech Support:
Let's track what we know has been sent, the modem's on and signalin',
Then can you tell by sight that modem cables are not a-wigglein'?'
Caller:
With much software I'm sporty but devices I'm more leary at,
And I don't know precisely what it is now I am peering at.
Tech Support:
I'll try and learn the process can you send me all the history,
It could be IP static, MS Office, it's a mystery,
Until you give me something we are left without a strategy,
To fix that modem Data General is not a guarantee.
'
Both:
To fix that modem Data General is not a guarantee.
To fix that modem Data General is not a guarantee.
To fix that modem Data General is not a guarantee.
'
Tech Support:
In my ancillary knowledge if your hardware's not propriet'ry,
It just may be a matter somewhere lerking in your regristry.
Caller:
But still in matters routable, bandable, or signable,
This is a flakey model of a modem Data General.
'
Both:
But still in matters routable, bandable, or signable,
This is a flakey model of a modem Data General.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 32

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2
 1
 
 2   1
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   1
 1
 1
 
 5   29
 29
 29
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Adagio - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
This one had me smiling with delight, Guy. 5's
David Chrenko - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Very well executed, Guy. Comp Geek 5s
alvin rhodes - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
mind blowing....i wish gilbert and sullivan could see this...5s
Stuart McArthur - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
I think this is Dilbert and Sullivan, isn't it? funny idea Guy - well done too - 555
Ash - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Amazing... I'm reeling from reading it out loud in my head... 15 bells and whistles for you!
Scathe - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
*smiles wickedly*
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant rhyming, Guy. I found a few lines had a syllable off here and there but this is a fine effort indeed.
Johnny D - March 14, 2005 - Report this comment
Guy, you are the very model of a modern major parodist!
Guy - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks all for your comments. Somehow I had thought that this would have been an easy song to parody. I don't remember the last time I worked so long on a single parody. I've done TWOTEF and American Pie and neither were nearly as difficult. Will I do another model of a major modern parody? Who knows? I may, but probably not for a while.
Kat - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Very nice.
Michael Pacholek - March 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Shows how much YOU know, Guy. Data was never a General. He only rose as high as Lieutenant Commander.
Red Ant - March 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, and WTF was with Deanna Troi doing in season 7 making COMMANDER outranking him? She's hot but outranks DATA?????
Kim West - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Alright, on the one hand I feel this was brilliantly executed. Yes, very well done, and it is most clear that you put in an effort. On the other hand, I hate the subject matter because…well…I know just how frustrating computers are (My computer specifically comes to mind).I love Pirates of Penzance, but I hate my computer. So, you see my dilemma? And the worst part about all of this is somebody beat me to the Data joke! Arrr! Ye shall get 555 from me, The Pirate Queen!
Leo Jay - March 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Wowwie Zowwie! Impressive performance at 55.5 bps!
John Jenkins - March 28, 2005 - Report this comment
Excellent word play, Guy.
Charlie Decker - April 09, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Very nice! 5s
Rex - April 10, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A baud-y parody.
Agrimorfee - April 14, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Techie humor does compute!
Melhi - April 15, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Aw, shoot... Rex beat me to the comment I was going to make!
Adagio - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Already commented. 5's
Stuart McArthur - April 16, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - already commented - excellent Guy
Rick C - April 17, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Perfect parody, Guy! Loads of funny...555
Johnny D - April 19, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above.
Scathe - April 22, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I took a computer class once. Thanks for the bad memories and the laughs.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - April 23, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm uploading you some 5s and this comment, I hope the whole package gets thr
Jeff Reuben - April 28, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS, but I enjoyed the tech talk
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Still awesome!
Claude Prez - April 29, 2005 - Report this comment
Great stuff Guy, and great comment Stu.
Jordan (Mike Armstrong) - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DANGIT STU! Stole my joke before I could get to the bottom! This was hilarious. I am so that guy too.
Spaff.com - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
I tried to get Babelfish to translate this into English for me, but it froze my whole system. Great rhyming, GD'R, especially uniform/cuneiform. Soon that sound of a modem dialing and connecting will be something that reminds us of the dark ages. Someone will email us a recording of it and we'll laugh and say, Wow - remember THAT?!
Tim Mayfield - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I didn't like the tone, or was it the modulation? Anyway, it was very static-laden and quite funny. 5's
Arwen - May 01, 2005 - Report this comment
SOTM--hilarious, Guy!
Geek Central - October 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Call the "Geek Squad" next time!

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