I am the very model of a major anti-socialite
I've never seen the light of day in spite of how I'm very bright
I know the words on Frodo's ring and all the lines from 'Holy Grail'
I love to wear Hawaiian shirt to show off how my skin is pale
At nine I solved the Rubix Cube, that thing is such a child's toy
I did not have a date for prom, unless you count my gaming-boy
I never was a sportsman, though I sit around and master...
(Fishing)
(A Master Bait-er, you might say)
I'd gladly give my kingdom up if I could only get a date

(CHOIR)
He'd gladly give his kingdom up if he could only get a date
He'd gladly give his kingdom up if he could only get a date
He'd gladly give his kingdom up if he could only get a, get a date

I am very good at useless facts and I should be on Jeopardy
Who knows I might just be a dweeby Media Celebrity
But me in front of all those eyes, the pressure gives me such a fright
I am the very model of a major anti-socialite

(CHOIR)
But he in front of all those eyes, the pressure gives him such a fright
He is the very model of a major anti-socialite

I think I am the super hero in the stories that I view
But still I do not get the play that heroes in the movies do
I level up so easily in Everquest and D&D
But every time I speak to girls, they ask a credit card of me
My exploits are all legend and my methods I would gladly teach
But no one seems to care about my time spent saving Princess Peach
I'll tell you what I do with all the free time I have anyway
(almost everyday, ha ha)
I sit at my PC downloading new X-rated anime

(CHOIR)
He sits at his PC downloading new X-rated anime
He sits at his PC downloading new X-rated anime
He sits at his PC downloading new X-rated ani-anime

And I can write a story in the famous Klingon dialect
Good characters will never die because they all have 'resurrect'
But confidence won't let me speak, it doesn't matter how I write
I am the very model of a major anti-socialite

(CHOIR)
But confidence won't let him speak, it doesn't matter how he writes
He is the very model of a major anti-socialite

In fact the damsels that I save are fairy-tales, not really there
Most likely when I save them I am sitting in my underwear
I know of those who go out late, I'd like to party hard with them
But Mother doesn't like it when I stay out after 8 pm
I want to say, "Just go away!" to vent the anger in my head
But I don't want to cross the one who picks my clothes and makes my bed
In short, no matter how much all my questing has been glorified
(Oh ho glorified... glorified, snorified, horrified... ah ha, I have it)
I really have a problem when I scare off my mail order bride

(CHOIR)
He really has a problem when he scares off his mail order bride
He really has a problem when he scares off his mail order bride
He really has a problem when he scares off his mail order, order bride

All the movies and the gaming help me live my life so happily
A healthy 23-year-old and growing, wouldn't you agree?
But now the time is 9 o'clock, the time I go to bed at night
I am the very model of a major anti-socialite

(CHOIR)
But now the time is 9 o'clock, the time he goes to bed at night
He is the very model of a major anti-socialite