SIR HOSEOFF:
When I was a bum I lived in trash
I sold the cans that I'd collect for cash
I wore a beard, I pushed a cart
I hung around the alley near the local mart

ALL:
He hung around the alley near the local mart

HOSE:
I hung around that alley with the other poor
And now I am the owner of the Punafore

ALL:
He hung around that alley with the other poor
And now he is the owner of the Punafore

HOSE:
At the beggar's life I got so good
That soon I had a corner in the neighborhood
I showed my sores and my feet so flat
And they'd throw a couple pennies in my worn-out hat

ALL:
They'd throw a couple coppers in his worn out hat

HOSE:
And of those coins some I would store
And now I am the owner of the Punafore

ALL:
He'd take those coins and ask for more
Until he could afford to buy the Punafore

HOSE:
I soon grew tired of the moan and beg
And since I had myself a nice nest egg
I heard about a piece of land
And bought myself a parcel for a couple grand

ALL:
He bought himself a parcel for a couple grand

HOSE:
That land got my foot in the door
And now I am the owner of the Punafore

ALL:
He got his big foot in the door
And now he is the owner of the Punafore

HOSE:
My pleading way served me quite well
I got the neighborhood to buy and sell
Each client I would represent
And then I'd cut myself in for a few percent

ALL:
He'd con each client for a few percent

HOSE:
That small percentage I would score
Enabled me to buy the pub called Punafore

ALL:
That wad of moolah in his drawer
Enabled him to buy the lowly Punafore

HOSE:
That lesson here I give for free
Is if you want to own some property
Don't work too hard, don't trust to fate
Just get yourself a license to sell real estate

ALL:
Become one of the millions selling real estate

HOSE:
If taxes and inflation soar
Then you could be the owner of the Punafore

ALL:
This song is long and quite a bore
So let's have one more round here at the Punafore!