Song Parodies -> A Very Modern Major-General

Original Song Title:	"The Major-General's Song"
Original Performer:	Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody Song Title:	"A Very Modern Major-General"
Parody Written by:	Phil Alexander

A tribute of sorts to Tom Lehrer's elements (also a parody to the Major-General's Song). It scans almost perfectly - if you think you're out, check the pronunciation of the chemical ;-)

GENERAL:
There's PCE and XTC (MDMA) and LSD
And N2O and STP (that's DOM) and THC
Phencyclidine is Angel Dust and also known as PCP
With analogues of PCE and PCOy and TCP
Magic mushrooms, Psilocybin, amanita, kava root
DMT, ayahuasca other things of bad repute
Heroin, amphetamine and mescaline and pethedine
and ecstacy (that's meth'lene-dimethoxy-methamphetamine)

ALL:
Ecstacy (that's meth'lene-dimethoxy-methamphetamine)
Ecstacy (that's meth'lene-dimethoxy-methamphetamine)
Ecstacy (that's meth'lene-dimethoxy-methamphetamine)

GENERAL:
A microdot of LSD is all you ever really need
Unless you're into Mary-jane, amyl nitrate, junk or speed
Recr'ational amphetamines, like dexedrine or ketamine
But now my stash is empty so could someone go and get 'em in

ALL:
Recr'ational amphetamines, like dexedrine or ketamine
But now his stash is empty so could someone go and get 'em in

GENERAL:
Marijuana, cannabis sativa, grass or pot or mull
Sensemilla delta-9 tetrahydrocannabinol
Roll a joint, skin up a spliff, light a pipe or take a toke
Stoke the bong, hit the ganja, take a breath and feel the dope
Also known as hashish, hash and reefer or the evil weed
But any of those names it can be really very good indeed

ALL:
Any of those names it can be really very good indeed
Any of those names it can be really very good indeed
Any of those names it can be really very good indeed

GENERAL:
Cocaine as Cocaine HCl, big C, charlie, coke or blow
Crack, The Lady, C or toot, nose candy also rocks or snow
Speed, lid poppers, uppers, downers, buzz or whiz or methadone
Acid, trips or blotters, Purple Om or Methaqualone
Benzodiazapines such as Klonopin (Clonazepam)
Dalamane (Flurazepam) Halazepam (it's Paxipam)
Phenobarbital (are phenos), Rugby balls (Temazapam)
Thiopental's Pentothal or valium (Diazepam)

ALL:
Thiopental's Pentothal or valium (Diazepam)
Thiopental's Pentothal or valium (Diazepam)
Thiopental's Pentothal or valium (Diazepam)

GENERAL:
Fentanyl, Meperidine, Methadone, Propoxyphene
Hydrocodone, Hydromorphone, Oxycodone, Pentazocine
Recr'ational amphetamines, like dexedrine or ketamine
But now my stash is empty so could someone go and get 'em in

ALL:
Recr'ational amphetamines, like dexedrine or ketamine
But now his stash is empty so could someone go and get 'em in

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Kristina Emily - March 12, 2003 - Report this comment

I used to be on Klonopin and valuim :-) I liked this! It was funny. I love the elements song too, its great!

Phil Alexander - March 14, 2003 - Report this comment

I don't think it would be possible to like this song without liking The Elements, too ;-) Glad to hear you're off them, Kristina: must mean things have got better. I've rephrased this into more of an Elements parody (without the chorus for a start) so I can sing it... but damn! it's difficult to learn.

neminem - August 30, 2003 - Report this comment

Nice. I really can't say much more... a couple times the pacing seemed a bit off, but that's gonna happen in a song of this magnitude. And thanks for providing the link on the "chemistry" comments page, or I would never have seen it.

Phil Alexander - September 01, 2003 - Report this comment

Thanks... I've played/sung this one, and the only line which gets me is the "Hydrocodone, Hydromorphone, Oxycodone, Pentazocine" one, which has two extra syllables... in doing so, I've also noticed that PCE and LSD are both mentioned twice; Ecstasy is mentioned both in full and as its homophone "XTC" (though use of full names as well as acronyms for MDMA and THC). It may be down to experience, as I've been doing "The Elements" for must be fifteen years now, but this is much more difficult to perform :-(

Rick D - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment

There will be many others that will certainly be discarvard.

Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - April 06, 2004 - Report this comment

Very informative, but I also found some other lines that didn't quite work. A fine effort nonetheless, I shall continue to gorge on the parodies you dish out.

Johnny D - May 22, 2004 - Report this comment

Phil, you are a genius. 555

2nz - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment

Can I just say WOW, man... You like................ my hands are HUGE, man..... like, nice parody, man..... Seriously, record this some way, somehow. I came here simply to promote my recent parody of this song, but yours is much more detailed and required much more work. Great job, Philbo. Mines here, if ya wants to check it out: http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/gilbertandsullivan25.shtml

Red Ant - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment

Holy crap Phil. You know WAY too much about this.

Phil Alexander - May 24, 2005 - Report this comment

It did take a bit of research, this one... no, not *that* kind of research

Why Would I Say My Name? - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment

Wow, I'd bet money that most people I know can't say this. Great work.

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Song Parodies -> A Very Modern Major-General

"The Major-General's Song"

Gilbert and Sullivan

"A Very Modern Major-General"

Phil Alexander

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