All my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
My Tex-Mex is the worst food that it could ever be.
And all my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
And that's why they had to go to emergency.

Rosanna's back in Texarcana, she's still reelin' in her room,
And sweet Ilene's still lookin' green as she babbles like a loon,
And Allison in Galveston says that her gut still does rain,
And Dimples who now lives in Temple's got a bad case of ptomaine.

All my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
My Tex-Mex is the worst food that it could ever be.
And all my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
And that's why they had to go to emergency.

I remember that river bistro where I learned to cook,
And it brings the mind that fateful time when they burned all my cookbooks.
My culinary education, it didn't go right,
And I pray to the porcelain god hours every night.

All my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
My Tex-Mex is the worst food that it could ever be.
And all my ex's had my Tex-Mex,
And that's why they had to go to emergency.

They said to stop tryin',
They feel like they are dyin',
I hope they get well in recovery.