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Song Parodies -> "When I'm Cleaning Windows™"

Original Song Title:

"When I'm Cleaning Windows"

Original Performer:

George Formby

Parody Song Title:

"When I'm Cleaning Windows™"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I was recently given a ukulele for my birthday, and was going to record my first parody to this OS, "When Upgrading Windows", but it seemed a bit dated. So I decided to write something less so. One of the things that crossed my mind was there are quite a few people who clean Windows™ for a living, and what they see doing their job is probably every bit as risqué as the original "window cleaner"...
I go cleaning Windows™
To earn an honest bob
For a nosey parker
It's an interesting job
Yes, it's a job that just suits me
PC World techie you would be
If you could see what I can see
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Spyware cleaned and popups, too
And then, when it's as good as new
I'll have a little rummage through
When I'm cleaning Windows™

In my profession I'll work hard, but I'll never stop
If I see child pornography, I'll run and call the cops

I found what made that hard drive crash
By looking through the IE cache
Now, *that*'s a rather dodgy stash
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Oh, look, there's pictures, quite a lot
From icy cold to spicy hot
"C:"? Well, I'd rather not
When I'm cleaning Windows™

There's something here looks very weird
Far stranger than it first appeared
A photoshop of Britney, speared
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Oh, it's like confession, avant garde, in my PC shop
As computers are brought to me when e'er the damn things stop

Owners looking so forlorn
Time and time again they've sworn
They didn't know 'bout all that porn
When I'm cleaning Windows™

Surely there's someone who knows
Where they came from, all of those
Gigabytes of videos
When I'm cleaning Windows™

I tell you, guys, it's such a chore
Browsing pix and vidz galore
Especially when it's hard core
When I'm cleaning Windows™

------ finger-flyin' ukulele solo ------

For my discretion, I'll charge more, else you'll face the chop
But please don't call it blackmail, if you want me to stop

I only ask a modest fee
For checking out your old PC
Your secrets? Sure, they're safe with me
When I'm cleaning Windows™
When I'm cleaning Windows™
When I'm cleaning Windows™

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   6

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

alvin - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
fun update on a classic OS
Red Ant - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
Wish I knew the original... great rhyming here, Phil. ""C:"? Well, I'd rather not" and "A photoshop of Britney, speared" stood out for me.
Phil Alexander - September 07, 2007 - Report this comment
It's OK, Jack, there'll be a recording up soon (with me on ukulele :-) - backing track recorded, just need a few minutes p&q to do the vocals)
TJC - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Spot on! (you may find it difficult to purge all 555 of these memory buffer overruns from your cache)
Philsister - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
Would I have contributed to this Ukelele had I known it would be used pornographically? Sounds great Phil, I'm dead impressed you've mastered it so quickly.

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