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Song Parodies -> "Here Comes Menopause"

Original Song Title:

"Here Comes Santa Claus"

Original Performer:

Gene Autry

Parody Song Title:

"Here Comes Menopause"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

Joey Lawrence (no, not the actor) had this idea a few months back, so please visit it and vote favorably. Everybody have a happy and safe holiday and a very merry parody to all.
Here comes menopause, here comes menopause,
Right down Menopause Lane!
Goodbye to cramps, and hello hot flashes,
Some gals get migraines—

Chuck those tampons, pop that Motrin,
And go shopping for thongs—
Brand new stage, gonna feel your age
When menopause comes along!

Here comes menopause, here comes menopause,
Right down Menopause Row!
Estrogen, schmestrogen, who needs fertility
When you've reached 5-0?!

Creams and patches, while your snatch is
Drying, shriveling, tight—
You'll be reaching for Astroglide
When Santa Claus comes tonight!

Here comes menopause, here comes menopause
Jackie, Jeri and Jane—
Bones getting thinner, what's for dinner
When you've hit "the Change"?

Calcium supplements with French yogurt,
Buy tofurella in pounds!
You'll have cornflakes twice a day
When menopause comes around!

BONUS VERSE—KEY CHANGE!

Here comes menopause, yup, male menopause,
All too common in men!
You've got a sack that's kicking back
As testosterone descends!

This December, your male member:
D'oh! What a droopy surprise!
See your Doc for a pill that rocks
'Cause menopause comes to guys—No lie!
Menopause comes to guys!

©Bob Gomez 2004

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.6
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   1
 1
 1
 
 4   2
 1
 1
 
 5   16
 18
 18
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Michael Pacholek - December 27, 2004 - Report this comment
I don't think this is what David Bowie had in mind when he said, "Turn and face the strange ch-ch-changes!" Too bad, it might have been a better song! Your imagination certainly had a hot flash! Or is that a power surge?
Kristof Robertson - December 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Just line after line of LOL moments...bravo! 555
Red Ant - December 02, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for keepin' it real Bob, great parody.
Jessie - March 08, 2017 - Report this comment
This song had me rolling. šŸ˜šŸ˜†šŸ¤£

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