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Song Parodies -> "Spittin' Out The Pits"

Original Song Title:

"Puttin' On The Ritz"

Original Performer:

Fred Astaire

Parody Song Title:

"Spittin' Out The Pits"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Deep into
Bing cherry munchin'
Often do
I tweak my luncheon,
With such bits..
Spittin' out the pits

Plump red gems,
Hooked on the habit
Pluck their stems,
Purse lips and nab it,
From my mitts,
Spittin' out the pits

Sometimes I'll toss one in air, a looper
Showin' off my skill, when near a group 'er,
(Oops, a blooper)

Tarty fun
And just can't wait, so
Rush next one,
Like Lay's potato..
Multi hits..
Spittin' out the pits..

Buy I can't, not "Well to do"
Cost a mint, a pound or two
Shop in Kmart, stop and stare,
Sweet and piled up, shiny there
Reach out and test a sample
Ten, or fifteen seems ample
Never spend a dime,
For this cherry-fill time..

In one year,
I've snitched a thousand,
Weekly cheer,
Just slyly browse
And ogle tits..
Spittin' out the pits

Forced to quell
Fruity self-giftin'
Store dicks tell
Cops I'm shopliftin'
Bench charge, writs...
Spittin' out the pits

Next day I'm brought up before..a Just-ice,
Peeks above his nose specks, soundly cussed us, (Bust us)

No O.J.,
I draw the slammer
Here to stay..
A ten day whammer
No acquits..
Sittin' here's the pits..

No more it's
Spittin' out the pits..

Since placed in
Post office wall bunch
Curb my sin,
Buy grapes, a small bunch..
Legal "Gits"
Seedless..with no pits

Legal "Gits"
Seedless..with no pits

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   16

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

TJC - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Really interesting and unexpected directions taken, AF... you writer of hitz, you!
Old Man Ribber - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
AFW - Nicely done. After all - life is just a bowl of cherries. Interesting and dark (cherry?) twist as well. This at least this is not "the pits". ;D
Patrick - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Nice word arrangement. Just be careful not to bite into any cherry bombs.
Christie Marie M - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Very catchy, AFW! I find this cherry of a ditty rather "cordial!" A spitting distance of pits comes to a 555!
Tommy Turtle - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
I prefer the kind of "cherries" that have no pits (at least, in the sense you're using, heh heh!), but you get charged with a lot worse than shoplifting. Thought that's where this might be going when it turned to ogling and criminal, but this was more consistent - and "safer". :-) 555

Was going to plug TT's "Cherries", but you've already v/c'd - and got the double-entendre, as expected, although a few readers didn't. No need to re-read. (hey, that rhymes!)
TT P. S. - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Replied to your question @ Sanitoned.
PS #2 (PS, I Love You? - Beatles) - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Also an explanation and extensive reply at your wonderful tribute yesterday.
AFW - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks, gang..appreciate v & c
TT III - September 03, 2010 - Report this comment
Re: Nick: Gave full answer -- or pointed to story behind it -- at the place where you asked. Will save ya the trouble:
, footnote #3, the longest (of course!)
WarrenB - September 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Not an easy song to do, and it flowed great with a nicely flowing story line. Enjoyed this a lot!
John Jenkins - September 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Clever story and clever rhyming, pariticularly the "justice/cussed us/bust us" verse.
2Eagle - September 05, 2010 - Report this comment
Good. Now eat a watermelon.
Wild Child JIN - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
Wow! Nice to see another parody of Puttin' On The Ritz! I did one for those who may not remember, called Mr. Fix It awhile back. This is without a doubt a very, very difficult song to parody!! So I'll Pop in a cherry (oops, no pun intended LOL!;-D) and spit out 3 5's - 555 :-)
Ann Hammond - September 07, 2010 - Report this comment
he he
UnKnownNorCALgal - September 08, 2010 - Report this comment
Sir L'AIR , . . . . ohhh those Truck Drivin' ~ Spur Clickin' ~ Boot Prancin' ~ Pit Spittin' Cowpokes !
Peregrin - July 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Found this via the random feature, AFW. I chewed it over and spat out 5s!
AFW - July 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks for the random commentr, Pere-
Porfle Popnecker - July 06, 2012 - Report this comment
Very nicely done.

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