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Song Parodies -> "The Far-Sighted Fighters"

Original Song Title:

"The Star Spangled Banner"

Original Performer:

Francis Scott Key

Parody Song Title:

"The Far-Sighted Fighters"

Parody Written by:

Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Inspired by Royce Miller's recent salute to this OS. OS lyrics used were here. One more verse than OS, and I still couldn't capture the history of the struggle.
For free speech, for free press, and free prayer: 'twas a fight!
In a world of despots: Visions undreamt of by man
And for peaceful protest: What a "radical right"!
But by bravery bold, said America, "I can"
Some day, may all be free; know joy of lib-er-ty
May struggle not be vain; vision: Frances Scott Key
O say, will freedom's glorious banner ever wave
O'er world, where all are free, fruits of fighters so brave?

Two mistakes still remained; consequences, quite grave;
Civil War, bloody red, with Abe Lincoln presiding;
Women: chattels of men, and the Blacks did still slave
As the North and South were split, brother with brother fighting
Toll at Gettysburg: great, but slaves, emancipate;
Son of immigrants, Black: Secretary of State*
Nineteen-twenty, vote to women our country -- gave ---
Land had ended servitude; salute suffragettes brave

On a shore, far away, demagoguery, incite;
Rose a Führer, insane; vision: whole world beneath him
But, united, free men from all continents, fight
The result of their pain: death in bunker, bequeath him
Christian, Muslim, or Jew, Buddhist, Shinto, Hindu
All faiths, freedom protect; yes, for atheists, too!
Let no man tell another what must think or say
May the Planet, pole to pole, live in peace, some bless'd day.

In another land, rich with tradition and pride
Did the Communists rise, rule and seek domination
Revolution, then switch: how Vlad'mir Lenin lied:
'Stead of "worker's paradise": Stalin's exterminations
Promised "progress for all"; chopped Berlin with a wall
'Til ex-actor with guts** forced divider to fall
And fast as magic trick, pick axes waving wide
Glad Germans, brick by brick, quickly reunified!

Over two thousand years poor Europe has been torn
By feudal monarchies: permanent confrontations
Thanks to far-sighted seers, Common Market is born
"Global Village": 'conomies with free trade among nations
Let all prosper and thrive; no more, merely survive
With blair of trumpets bold, freedoms finally arrive!
And long may freedom's glorious banner ever wave
O'er world, where all are free, fruits of fighters so brave!


*General Colin Powell, son of Jamaican immigrants, first African-American to be U. S. Secretary of State. **Make all the "Bedtime For Bonzo" jokes you like. To a Turtle trained as a tot in "duck and cover" drills ("In the event of nuclear attack, bend down, put your head between your legs, and kiss your ass good-bye") the end of the Cold War and the downfall of the Soviet Union are achievements that cannot be taken away from Ronald Reagan. Now, blast me all you like for saying that - many brave souls have died for your right to do exactly that. © 2006 Tommy Turtle.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 3
 2
 
 2   3
 0
 1
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   8
 8
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Paree Dee - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
After I saved this to my hard drive, I threw my old copy of H.G. Wells' "Outline of History" in the trash ! Definitely a global work ! One vote for each stanza... that's 5 in my book !
alvin rhodes - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
impressive write
AFW - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Great slice of American History, here...top job
John Barry - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
What 's said above.
TT - March 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Paree Dee, alvin, AFW, John B., thanks.
Red Ant - April 01, 2006 - Report this comment
I've done TOS too, though only the first verse as that is all that is ever sung. Shame I don't know more than that, though I agree this is a top write (and perfectly rhymed too). Duck and cover? Nope, stand and salute. 5s.
Larry Hensley - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Amazing song, 555
TT - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Red Ant, if you put the mouse cursor over the blue underlined "here" in the intro sentence, "OS lyrics are here", it will take you to where you can learn the rest of the OS. (Sorry - I've owed ya that for a while, since that time ya said that ta me, dude! :-) Thanks for comment and vote :)
Larry Hensley, thanks.
Phil Alexander - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Very worthy...
TT - April 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks, Phil, and thanks for taking the time to come by here.
Dylan Baranski - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
As a proud American, I give you 5-5-5 for having successfully re-capped our country's grand history in our national anthem! Thankfully, I was born after the Cold War ended, so I don't have to worry about Russia nuking us or anything. However, someone, somewhere, filled in that void by making me live in this age of worrying about terrorist attacks & stuff. Ah well, as long as we succeed in this War on Terrorism just as we did in the Cold War, everything should be kosher. "E Pluribus Unum" we are and shall forevermore be! Now, how should I parody the national anthem...
Tommy Turtle - January 17, 2007 - Report this comment
Dylan Baranski, thanks... there's a, shall we say, somewhat more humorous parody of OS on the home page today... looking forward to your version.
FiddlePatriot - August 19, 2009 - Report this comment
Wow. Just.... wow.

As for the outro... I'll proudly admit to missing Reagan these days.
Tommy Turtle - August 20, 2009 - Report this comment
FiddlePatriot: Wow for the v/c ... and I too admit to missing Ronnie. He was *so* good in "Knute Rockne..", and how "Bedtime for Bonzo" escaped an Oscar is beyond me :)

S: agree on missing R. vs all of his successors, esp. the present one. thanks for taking the time to stop by.

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