They'll give that John Ritter show another life
Ritter was the greatest actor in the entire universe
Probably because he was on a hit sitcom twice
Maybe your arms are not supposed to go around me

I hear about John now and then
I watch reruns and still think it's real
Sometimes I channel surf, I see Ritter on my TV
Just to make sure that I still feel
Just to make sure that I can still feel him

His sitcom will not end
Begin season two
They'll carry on with the
8 Simple Rules
And I know I've been spoofless ever since he died
It's not starring John Ritter
The producers broke the rules
8 Simple Rules...

This feels a foreign country. John's death: Who knew??
I didn't speak their language, but somehow we knew
That this would be the final time that we could see Old John act foolish
I said I'd never come home

His sitcom will not end
Begin season two
They'll carry on with the
8 Simple Rules
And I know I've been spoofless ever since he died
It's not starring John Ritter
The producers broke the rules
8 Simple Rules...

News flew to all the cities, faster than light
That our old pal John Ritter died on a late September night
It's like living on another planet, and my heart was shattering
He pretended to be a gay guy

His sitcom will not end
Begin season two
They'll carry on with the
8 Simple Rules
And I know I've been spoofless ever since he died
It's not starring John Ritter
The producers broke the rules
8 Simple Rules...

Just 8 Simple Rules... 8 Simple Rules
Just 8 Simple Rules... 8 Simple Rules
Just 8 Simple Rules... 8 Simple Rules
8 Simple Rules
(Repeat indefinitely)