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Song Parodies -> "Gnat"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Flanders and Swann

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I don't know if anyone else remembers the original, but I've had it on in the car recently...
A year ago, last Thursday I was walking by a pond
The sun was going, and with it was the light
When I noticed on my arm a little insect sort of thing
With his long proboscis aiming for to bite
So I asked him, quite rhetorically: 'What kind of beast are you?
Maybe I should make this little midge go splat!'
But the animal in question did surprise me with a reply
He remarked: 'I ain't a midge. I'm a G-nat!'

'I'm a G-nat, I'm a G-nat
The g-nastiest little g-nasher and that's flat
I'm a G-nat, How about that
You really ought to k-now w-hat's w-hat
I'm a G-nat, Spelt G-N-at
I'm g-not a midge, mosquito or a bat
So let me tell you why
I'm g-neither g-nit or fly
Oh g-no g-no g-no I'm a G-nat'

I had strung mosquito netting nearly all around my tent
Ere I climbed into my sleeping bag to nap
But the sound of whiny buzzing all repose did prevent
I suppose I must have left a little gap
Entangled in my sleeping bag and my mosquito net
I flailed and I swatted, till Howzat!
A midge? u're not a midge...
Anopheles? No, it's not an opheles...
When from underneath my hand: 'I'm a G-nat!'

I'm a G-nat, a g-nother g-nat
What kind of g-nitwit don't know that?
I'm a G-nat, How about that
You really ought to k-now w-hat's w-hat
I'm a G-nat, Spelt G-N-at
Not a g-nopheles, or a g-natterjack
G-nor am I the least
A g-nasty g-naughty beast
Oh, g-no, g-no, g-no,
G-no g-no g-no I'm a G-nat
G-no g-no g-no I'm a Gnat

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.1
How Funny: 4.1
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

AFW - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
DKTOS...but good writing...I'm bugs about it
Tim Mayfield - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
I Do Know The Original Song, and this was very well done.
Jeff Reuben - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
What...this isn't about the new DC baseball team?
Michael Pacholek - February 09, 2005 - Report this comment
Peek-a-boo, fives for you. (Only a Flanders & Swann fan would get that.)
Phil Alexander - February 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, all :-) I was actually trying to write one about gneiss, when this pretty much wrote itself. Don't know if I'll get round to finishing the other, but must admit that I wasn't expecting many people to know this one. But I like it :-)
Steve T. - May 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Another great piece of work. We're trying to work one up from the Bestiary. Steve
Phil Alexander - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Steve - If you're back to see if your comment's been remarked upon, do you mean you're looking to do a F&S parody yourselves? If so, do please post it here: I love their use of words, and it does lend itself to parody. The only downside is that there are so few people around to appreciate it :-)
Agrimorfee - May 06, 2008 - Report this comment
I liked this--first heard the song covered on The Muppet Show--but my only problem was trying to rhyme the schwa 'a' of "what" with the short 'a' sound in the rest of the chorus.

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