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Song Parodies -> "At The Count"

Original Song Title:

"In The Bath"

Original Performer:

Flanders and Swann

Parody Song Title:

"At The Count"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

I've just returned from the count for the local council elections, where my mother failed to become a councillor by about 300 votes... It was so exciting and interesting, that I wrote this while watching votes being verified, sorted and counted

When the Polling Station's closing, and the voting has been done
At the count, at the count
When it's time to count the votes up to determine just who's won
At the count, at the count
Time to tip out every ballot box, to pile up votes galore
To sort them into piles and find out who's been voted for
And pick all those b****y ones, fallen on the floor
At the count, at the count

Now I'll not say it's boring, this accounting exercise
At the count, at the count
But it might be more exciting, watching wet paint as it dries
At the count, at the count
It looks like we're not winning - we're down in second place
The very least we can do is to lose with certain grace
Though we'd love to wipe the smile off someone's self-important face
At the count, at the count

The time is getting on now, and they haven't finished yet
At the count, at the count
And I'm wondering just quite how much more tedious it can get
At the count, at the count
Time is passing slowly: I keep staring at the clocks
Watch the big hand moving, counting all the ticks and tocks
It's nearly after midnight, and they've found ANOTHER box
At the count, at the count

Then the Returning Officer reads out who's got the most
At the count, at the count
It's finally confirmed that we've been pipped first past the post
At the count, at the count
We force back the expletives, back behind clenched teeth
And smile to cover up the disappointment underneath
Then step outside and take one great big deep breath of relief
At the count, at the count

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 4.0
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

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Michael Pacholek - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
Lost by 300 votes? This wouldn't be in Jebville (formerly known as Florida), would it? And Flanders & Swann? Does it count if you're parodying someone who already specializes in comedy songs?
Phil Alexander - May 02, 2003 - Report this comment
No, it's in Bucks, England - no suggestion of underhand tricks or skulduggery of any kind, just proof positive that the majority of people in her constituency had never seen, heard or met the person they voted for: if they had, he'd not have polled a single vote.

Anyway, what's wrong with parodying comic songs? It's not like I've used their themes, or even their rhymes: it was a song that was 100% apposite and topical at the time it was written, it just needed a tune to which to be set, and was either going to be a parody of this one or "At the hop", which I don't know well enough without looking up.

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