-> "The Even-Newer Colossus ('Statue of Liberty' Inscription Revision)"
Original Song Title:
"The New Colossus"
Original Performer:
Emma Lazarus
Parody Song Title:
"The Even-Newer Colossus ('Statue of Liberty' Inscription Revision)"
The Lyrics
So many immigrants to US, came
From Europe and Asia, seeking freer land
You are the sons and daughters of that band
Unless Amer'can Native (US' shame) [1]
But now, imprison those: Hispanic name
Hundred-foot, massive wall, on border, stand
'Lectrified "welcome"; our wild cries: "You're banned!"
"I'm here, so lift the gangplank!", we proclaim [2]
"All other lands, no more: your peeps!", cry we
And block their ships. "Keep all your tired, your poor,
"Your welfare moochers, schooling kids for free [3]
"Their low-cost labor, unions here abhor
"The USA has reached capac-i-ty
"I douse my lamp and slam the golden door!"
_______________________
OS (Original Sonnet, contrasting "Liberty" to the ancient Colossus of Rhodes)
Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,
With conquering limbs astride from land to land;
Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand
A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame
Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name:
Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand
Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command
The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.
"Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor,
"Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
"The wretched refuse of your teeming shore [4]
"Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me
"I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
[1] Everyone here who is of 100% Native American ancestry, raise your hand. .... thought so. Even if your ancestors came over on the Mayflower, you're still the descendant of immigrants. If only the Indians had had stricter immigration laws, like those proposed nowadays (and an electrified fence with which to enforce them) ... they'd be alive today. See [2] in a little bit.
[2] The "gangplank mentality": Best exempified by those who complain of the rapacoius developers in their area who tear up orchards and farmland to build houses, thus ruining their town. Excuuuse me, but didn't one of those rapacious developers have to tear up some orchards or farmland to build the house, apartment, condo, or whatever, in which *you* are now living?
This is the "gangplank mentality": "I made it on the ship, so now you can lift the gangplank and not let anyone else on." Seen frequently in ballot measures in towns trying to cap their growth or population, the thought apparently being that the number of people there now is *exactly* the right number. What's odd is that none of these measures ever *reduces* the present popluation by requiring all those who arrived in, say, the last ten years, to leave, thus restoring the lovely area to how much more beautiful it was ten years ago. Or require *everyone* to leave, tear down everything, and make it a forest or whatever again. "I'm here, so that's enough people."
But... "More residents will ruin the quality of life that brought me here!" ... Yeah, but *you* incrementally lowered the quality of life that existed before *your* arrival ... (sigh -- logic is hopeless. Look up "solipsism" sometime).
[3] Numerous studies have shown that on the whole, "illegal" immigrants contribute far more to society than they consume in Government services, especially since they are often afraid to seek medical care, aren't eligible for Social Security disability benefits, Worker's Compensation (compensation for on-the-job injuries, including both medical bills and lost wages), etc., etc., but see above re: "logic". "My mind is made up -- don't confuse me with the facts."
[4] Looks like we don't want anyone's poor, wretched refuse or homeless anymore, so if yer not gonna use Tommy's revision, at least scratch out *these* lines -- and give thanks that your tired, poor, wretched ancestors made it in in time, as mine did.
Apologies to Emma Lazarus, and thanks be that TT was able to climb to the top of the Statue a couple of decades ago. Hard to imagine how our ancestors felt after spending months asea, to see* the first man-made structure, the figure with the Torch of Freedom, come into view.
*(asea, to see -- heh heh - "from asea to shining see" :-)
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