Once upon a weeknight, weary, I came home with eyes all bleary
From many smoggy workdays I had labored at the store
As I entered, swiftly tripping, I grabbed my shirt and heard it ripping
As my feet went slipping, slipping on the toy-strewn floor
'Tis some child-thing I muttered, tripping me upon the floor
Only Bink, and nothing more

Ow, distinctly I remembered it was in the bleak December
When my mind thought to dismember the small child I forbore
Eagerly, I sought his hiney, knowing well he'd soon be whiney
For the pain was not so tiny on my elbow that was sore
Yes, 'twas hurting like the dickens on my elbow that was sore
Couldn't stand it anymore

While my nerves were thusly fraying, there I found him calmly playing
He was practicing his pitching with an overhanded throw
Then I grabbed him by the shoulder, as my tell-tale heart grew colder
And my voice grew louder, bolder, asking him what did he know
"Did you cause your Dad to trip, Bink, making him hurt his elbow?"
Quoth the Danny; "I dunno"

Then I thought, I phrased it badly, in my anger I had madly
Quite forgotten that this child did not understand "elbow"
So I said, "I'll say it your way, did these toys strewn tot he doorway
Get there from you little foray int tossing things too low?
Giving Daddy a few stitches that some doctor must now sew?"
Quoth the Danny; "I dunno"

I grew more and more frustrated, thought my words enunciated
I said "Someday you'll grow up and read some Edgar Allen Poe.
But I'm gonna make it clear now, so you listen up and hear now
For I'll have to have a beer now for the pain that does now grow.
One last time, is this wound I now possess something that to you I owe?"
Quoth the Danny; I dunno"

I gave up, right then defeated, as this little boy repeated
Those cute words, I could not beat him like I wanted to before
When his Mom heard of his sinning, I could see her giggling, grinning
And I knew I'd not be winning any sympathetic score
Then she asked me If I'd ever let another baby through our door

Quoth the Daddy; "NEVERMORE!!!"

P.S. Poe, Poe, Pitiful me!