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Song Parodies -> "Lean Legs and Dames"

Original Song Title:

"Green Eggs and Ham"

Original Performer:

Dr. Seuss

Parody Song Title:

"Lean Legs and Dames"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Philbo did "The Cat In the Hat" recently, so I figured I gotta get in on this action. To make the rhyme work, say "dame" as "dam". (Or "Damn!")
That Slammin' Ma'am
That Slammin' Ma'am
I do not like that
Slammin' Ma'am

Do you like lean legs on dames?

I do not like girls, Slammin' Ma'am
I do not like lean legs or gams

Do you like girls, dark or fair?

I do not like them dark or fair
I do not like them dressed or bare
I do not like lean legs on dames
I do not like girls, Slammin' Ma'am

Would you like them with big chests?
Would you like the smaller breasts?

I do not like the giant chests
I don't prefer the smaller chests
I do not like them dark or fair
I do not like them dressed or bare
I do not like lean legs on dames
I do not like girls, Slammin' Ma'am

Would you date a lovely fox?
Would you like her on your rocks?

Won't date a fox
Stay off my rocks
No giant chests
No little breasts
I would not date them dark or fair
I would not make them dressed or bare
I do not like lean legs on dames
I do not like girls, Slammin' Ma'am

Would you? Could you?
In a bar?
Date them! Date them!
There they are!

I would not, could not
In a bar

You may like them
You will see
You may like them
Suddenly!

I will not like them suddenly
Not in a bar, Let me be me!

I don't want any lovely fox
I don't need one to nurse my rocks
I do not like humongous chests
I don't prefer the tiny breasts
I do not like them, I don't care
I do not like them here or there
I do not like lean legs on dames
I do not like girls, Slammin' Ma'am

A dare, a dare, a dare, a dare
Could you, would you on a dare?
Not on a dare! Not for a fee!
Not in a bar! Ma'am, let me be!

Say! When you park?
When cars you park?
Would you, could you, when you park?

I would not, could not, if I parked!

Would you, could you
With nice hair?

I could not, would not, any hair
Not if I parked, not on a dare
Not in a bar, not for a fee
I do not like girls, Ma'am, you see?
Not on a bet, not on a date
Ain't had one yet, it's not my fate
I do not want them here or there
Leave me alone, please, I don't care!

You do not like lean legs on dames?

I do not like them Slammin' Ma'am!

Could you, would you, in a bed?

I would not, could not, in a bed!

Would you, could you, with some head?

I could not, would not, please drop dead!
I will not, will not, in a bed!
I do not like lean legs on dames!
I do not like them Slammin' Ma'am!

You do not like girls, so you say
Try them, try them, don't be gay
Try them and you might say Hey!

Ma'am!
If you will let me be
I will try you
Just to see

Say......
I like lean legs on dames
I even liked you, Slammin' Ma'am!
And I would have you in my bed
If you would just shut up and spread
I'd hold you by your frizzy hair
And if we parked, for now I care
And at the bar, I'll waive the fee
They are not bad, not bad, you see!
So I will drink till you're a fox
And when you talk, I'll use your socks
And I will try the different chests
I wondered what was under vests
And I will try girls dark and fair
And I will like girls everywhere

I do so like lean legs and dames
Wham! Bam! Thank you
Slammin' Ma'am!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

neminem - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm not sure that Dr. Seuss ever made this into music... oh well, just consider it a parody of Weird Al's unreleased parody of Numb in which he just starting randomly singing Green Eggs and Ham ;-). Anyway, a well-deserved set of 5s.
Claude Prez - June 19, 2004 - Report this comment
I got dibs on "How The Wench Stole Christmas"
alvin rhodes - June 21, 2004 - Report this comment
this is great
Johnny D - June 24, 2004 - Report this comment
Slam that ham, Highlander man. 5's
Johnny D - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Restoring my vote, Highlander man.

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