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Song Parodies -> "Excremental Gurney"

Original Song Title:

"Sentimental Journey"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Doris Day

Parody Song Title:

"Excremental Gurney"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

A song about the trauma of finding yourself in Casualty in the wee small hours....
Layin' on an excremental gurney
In ER with drunks, junkies
My roommate is "Really Mental" Bernie
Who gets trashed on antifreeze

2 a.m..I've had no sedation
Broken tibia's pierced the skin
Doc's a child; he asks me "how's the patien'?
Get some bed resttake as-pi-rin"

No pants.just a flimsy gown, but no pants
Should've got some health insurance
I'd be wallowing in French champagne
Not just real-pagne

Orderlies all look like Bert and Ernie
Nurses trained in Nazi camps
Tell me; why's my excremental gurney
Excremental gurney damp?

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 17

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   17
 16
 16
 

User Comments

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alvin rhodes - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
this is a masterpiece....i literally laughed out loud...5s plus
Johnny D - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Yikes! ;-)
Paul Robinson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Kristof, from what I read & heard this is a 24-hour a day condition at the local ER hospital, ML King, over in South L.A....maybe the outside management team they brought in has improved it...haven't read anything on it lately...or maybe that's because I cancelled my subscription to the L.A. Times 3 months ago...but that's an excremental journey of a different odor...5's ~ ~ ~
John Barry - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
You beat me to it, Kristof. I've been trying to work "sham pain" into a parody. Great title, too. 5s
Rick C - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Witty title and parody. Fun to sing along to the OS! 555
AFW - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Orderlies look like Bert and Ernie...favorite line..ha ha..This is quite a hilarious nightmare scenario...
Red Ant - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I've had to wait 6 hrs before to even get my temperature taken in the waiting room. When the nurse's meter read over 104F, I was promptly rushed in the ER, where they gave me........Tylenol ( like I hadn't thought of taking that! ). 5s.
Paul Robinson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
Red - I took my late brother to ER once (Kaiser, WLA) for severe back spasms...yeah, it was like the situation in Kristor's piece...wee morning hours...he couldn't sit comfortably at all...so while waiting they gave him a wheelchair...WITHOUT foot rests...so his feet dangled...and caused more pressure on his back and spine...he was in agony and finally just collapsed out of it down to the floor...and of course was immediately surrounded by the concerned and caring staff there...NOT...I had to go tell the admitting nurse and point at him...after a couple minutes of my insistant loudness and pointing they FINALLY sent some orderlies to pick him up and then took him in the back...for some much-overdue and needed examination and treatment, right? NO...they placed him on a table and left him there a few more hours...silly, no...STUPID me...I thought he was being taken care of...yeah...Medical 'Care'...hah...So you had 104F...that's high...you shoulda sold at that price...you woulda made a killing...
Red Ant - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
My situation was quite trivial to that of your brother's. That is piss poor "care" that he received that night. I did not mean to sound trivial with my ER story but before leaving my house at 10pm at was closer to 106 (even after several doses of Tylenol) and when my mother admitted me she told the receptionist it was close to 106. While even 106 isn't life-threatening it is extremely disturbing as it causes hallucinations and generally is indicative of an infection that requires more than OTC meds to fix.
Paul Robinson - July 26, 2005 - Report this comment
I thought 106F was pretty close to "organ shut-down" time...but I only play a Doctor in parodies sometimes...not for real...or even on Television...
Stuart McArthur - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm glad J.A.B pointed out the sham pain gag or I would've missed it! - my wife was on one of these excremental gurneys in a Russian hospital once 20 years ago - not even any heating - still makes for a great story though - 555
Michael Pacholek - July 27, 2005 - Report this comment
Reminiscent of Malcolm Higgins' "The Rectum of Edmund Fitzgerald"... but, in its own way, dirtier. I'd like a "conservative" to read this and still say we have the best health care system in the world.
Agrimorfee - August 18, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC03) I know the song only from Esqivel's version, but it fit perfectly. Funny stuff.
Adagio - August 20, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC E) Comparing stories, are we? Mine was so bad that I walked out, sick and all, on the so-called doctor...hobbled out, I should say. You tell it like it is. 5's
Rick C - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3-E) Wonderfully wacky, Kristof.
Dr. Matthias - August 23, 2006 - Report this comment
Doctor Robertson to the Operation Room for the Fives transplant
Johnny D - August 24, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC) Double Yikes! ;-)
Red Ant - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) See above
Michael McVey - August 25, 2006 - Report this comment
Lemme guess, a hospital when you don't have insurance.... No s---! (pun intended). Good satire, KR. -- MM
Stuart McArthur - August 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(ABC3E) d'oh, like one of those rats in a maze who never learns, I thought hmm, what's with the "real pain" gag? then I read JAB's comment and I got it, and then I read my comment above and see that I'd done the whole complete same walk last time - great ending too Kristof
Josh 2 - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
ooooooookkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk 5s
Jeff Reuben - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Nice of you to mention me in the song! (Drunks!) Nice job.
Kristof Robertson - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Thanks to everyone who voted and commented...I'm off to have some plastic surgery now, although ya can't improve on perfection... :-)
leo jay - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
F'in brilliant. I too, got sham pain only due to the comments.

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