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Song Parodies -> "That's A Given"

Original Song Title:

"That's Amore"

Original Performer:

Dean Martin

Parody Song Title:

"That's A Given"

Parody Written by:

Andy Primus

The Lyrics

Cappella (Italian slang) = glans

(So zealously…)
(He pawned her ring)
(This man’s one churl)
(Hell’s what he’ll pay)

To the wife, shouldna said…
“You’re much bigger now we’re wed”…that’s a given
And I’ll not get romance…
Now I’ve said she can’t dance…that’s a given

Chance is blown
Never gonna bone
Goin’ home alone…
An’ now I’ll be the baddie

I hear nay
Never gonna lay
If I ever say…
“You’ve a rear like a Caddy”

I will strut roun’ the pool
Rooster-like; a-thinkin’ I’m cool…that’s a given
Though I think I look chic…
To the girls, I’m some freak in a thong
An’ my walk is a scream…
Like my ‘hind had some reamin’ this mornin’
Scusa me, but I’ve pee…
Drippin’ down to my knee without warnin’

(Now, for poon, p’rhaps he’ll try…)
(Like, a big pumpkin pie with a hole in)

That’s arousin’!

(Other times, it’s bovine…)
(And he’s known to touch swine – that’s appallin’!)

That’s appealin’!

(Girls will flip…)
(If you ever quip…)
(“Hairy upper lip”)
(He once said, “You’re a fella”)
(“Bloody hell, you’re a fella”)

(They won’t play)
(Tippy-toe away)
(Be a bummer day)
(If a smegged up cappella)

Yucky fella!

I will lech at some lass…
With nice knockers and ass…that’s a given
(That’s a given)
In the joint down the street…
There’s a crowd that I meet; one’s a love
I’m a dork, an’ a joke…
So I doubt I’ll be pokin’ this bimbo
Scuzzy, me; ten buck fee
Now a crack whore will be legs akimbo
(Akimbo)
Legs akimbo

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 10

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   10
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User Comments

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Old Man Ribber - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Andy - That's a given...and I'm givin' high praise and scores. Fine job. ;D
Fiddlegirl - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Always amusing, Andy.... (Pumpkin pie?!) ;)
Wild Child JIN - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
I amore this parody that's a given here! ;-D Excellent choice of OS and excellent overall job well done! ;-) 5's
Mark Scotti - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Sould be the new standard "Anniversary Waltz"....LOL!!!
TJC - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
That's a'punny! Too funny ('scuzzy me', 'pie', 'akimbo', 'capella' in particular)...
John Barry - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
That's-a buono!
Andy P - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks for the v/c's

FG - I once saw a tv doc that had a supposedly true story about a chap who used a freshly baked pie before it had sufficiently cooled. He had to go to the hospital with a serious (and very painful) burn.
Christie Marie M - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
Eloquently written and rhymed. Here's 555's...that's a given!!
Tommy Turtle - February 03, 2011 - Report this comment
So, when someone sings "a capella", they're really ... ?
Andy P - February 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks Christie & TT

TT - ha ha, but this spelling is with 2 p's and is also the Italian word for "chapel". Can't find the connection between chapel & glans though.

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