In my story, where lies are king
When man meets wife (late at night) ..... here's what I say



When she croons "Where was I ?"..."Um, just out with the guys"
That's my story
When she pro-ceeds to pry "Is that lipstick?"..."No, wine"
That's my story

Ashtray slings, on-my-head-it-pings, damn-it-really-stings
Hear her bray "THAT AIN'T VINO"
Screams out "PUTZ!", as-my-head-she-butts, knees-me-in-the-nuts
She must know Tarantino

I see stars as I drool, she lets fly garden tools
It gets gor-y
As I cling to deceit, I'm thrown down to the street
From above

When I rise it did seem that I'd died but I'm
Screaming "I'm sorry!"
Fuzzy me, couldn't see, I'm alive, happily
But all tore-y

Need a patch on one eye like that old Captain Bligh
I'm still starry
And the other's clamped shut like when Muhammad whupped
Jerry Quarry

Head still rings, little-birdies-sing, ringy-dingy-ding
She sure hits like a trucker
And I say "Oy-oy-vey, this-sure-ain't-my-day
She's one mad mother f_cker!"

I dodge cars in the street, but the last one's too fleet
It's a lorry
As I hear me go SPLAT! I can feel I'm as flat
As a glove

As I talk in my dreams, doctors say I keep
Screaming "NO MORE,EH?"
Wake at three, and I see, there's a nurse, looks to me
Like Joe Torre

Ugly fella

My wife's lawyer's no fool, lost the house, car, and jewels
What a foray
As I slink down the street with no shoes on my feet
I'm a bum

If you lie to your wife as she sharpens her knife
Don't ignore, eh?
Or like me you will sleep in a cardboard retreat
Change your story (your story)
Change your story