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Song Parodies -> "Mikey The Squirrel's Night Before Christmas 2007"

Original Song Title:

"Twas The Night Before Christmas"

Original Performer:

Clement Clark Moore

Parody Song Title:

"Mikey The Squirrel's Night Before Christmas 2007"

Parody Written by:

Mikey Squirrel

The Lyrics

This is an updated version of my holiday classic, with some lines and words changed to match my newest animated video. Which of course you can see right here. Please enjoy and a happy holiday season to all my parody-lovings friends everywhere!
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the trees,
The rodents were stirring and swimming with disease.
Huge stockings were hung by the chimney with desire,
With hopes that the flames won’t catch them on fire.

The children were conked out and snoring in their beds,
While visions of videogames played in their heads.
With the wife in her teddy, and me in the nude,
We just settled down and got in the mood.

When out in the yard there arose an awakening,
I fell out of bed and it ruined our lovemaking.
Away to the window I started to run,
Yelling and cursing and clutching my shotgun.

The pollutions and toxins on the wet yellow snow,
Gave a sense of terror to animals below.
When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear,
But a scrungy old man with a 2-4 of beer.

With an erratic old driver, so loopy and drunk,
I knew that it had to be that St. Nick punk.
His sleigh was so tacky, his reindeer looked gay,
And he belched, and farted and shouted away...

Now, Flasher! Now, Licker! Now, Picker and Spits!
On Vomit, on Stupid! On Humper and Blitzed!
You’re all way too fat! You’re slow as molasses!
Now, move it! Move it! Before I can all your asses!

As dry heaves within me had started to let fly,
They met with my shotgun blast, and fell from the sky.
So down to my rooftop those morons they fell,
With a sleigh full of drugs, booze and Taco Bell.

And then, in a heartbeat, I heard on the roof,
Reindeer dung dropping and that drunk little goof.
As I went to the phone to call 9-1-1,
Down the chimney Nick had fell on his bum.

He was covered in crap, from his head to his feet,
And he smelled like whiskey and foul rotting meat.
A bundle of junk he had in some old sack,
And he looked like a moron who had plumber’s crack.

His eyes- how they cringed! His beard- how pathetic!
His cheeks were frostbitten... he needed a medic!
His saggy old frame was wobbling to and ‘fro,
This wasn’t the Santa that I used to know!

The butt of a smoke did hang from his beard,
He was stumbling and retching, mumbling something weird.
He had old worn out boots and a great massive gut,
That shook, when he farted, from his big hairy butt.

He said, “Mikey! Don’t shoot! It’s me, Old St. Nick!
Christmas has changed and it’s really making me sick!
No one remembers the true meaning of Christmas anymore,
As they commercialize, irrationalize, and run to the stores!”

I spoke not a word, ‘cuz I knew he was right,
Christmas was different now, and ‘ol Santa was a sight.
So he left me some beer and a bag of grass,
Then I shot the lazy bastard in the ass.

He whimpered and cried, and said, “Mikey, what’s your tiff?”
I said, “Christmas may have changed, but I still want my gifts!”
But I heard him scream as the ambulance was leaving,
“MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU BASTARD
… AND SCREW YOU FOR NOT BELIEVING!”
Written by Mikey Squirrel © 2007 Squirrelbait Productions
Check out all the seasonal silliness at Squirrelbait - Parodies In A Nutshell!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Below Average Dave (badave.com) - December 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, I think we all know what a certain little Squirrel is entering for his SOTM. . .Honestly, epic effort Mikey. . .considering it's 2:51 almost 24 hours after you posted it. . .I'm surprised I'm the first to congratulate you on a killer write.
EmiLoca - January 10, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Ha ha. I'll be reading this one to the kids. For some reason I thought the best part is when the squirrel puked for the second time. Really fun work here.
Agrimorfee - January 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) First time read here, too --holidaze and all, you know. Very, very funny, Mr. Squirrel!!
Matthias - January 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Although posting old songs for SOTM is kinda cheating, I still think that this was a very good parody, and an AMAZING video.
Peter Andersson - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - It's a crying shame that I'm only the fifth person to comment on this parody so far (and only the fourth to vote!). Amazing wrap up here MS! :-)
Max Power - January 18, 2008 - Report this comment
5th vote
McKludge - January 19, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - I don't remember the poem well enough to vote on pacing. I'm all for crude humor, but this, as simply a read, was a bit too over-the-top for my tastes. But I think you have a good shot in the POTM contest for the animation.
Michael E Cormier - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
SOTM - Funny stuff
Mikey Squirrel - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone for the comments. It is a shame that the response for this is not as strong as I like, but it is after Christmas, so maybe not everyone is in the festive spirit anymore. McKludge- you say the crude humor is over the top.. have you read my Making Love In The Men's Bathroom Stall or You Buttered Your Butt parodies?? This is pretty tame in comparison.
littleCupCakes - January 20, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with McKludge, as it does sound a little harsh on ~ Dear Santa ~ and does lower his saintly image quite a bit. It certainly altered the childhood image that I always had. However 555 for your effort, Sir.
McKludge - January 21, 2008 - Report this comment
Mikey - yes I did read those two, and I thought Bathroom Stall was hysterical. Maybe it was the choice of OS's. I won't go into a dissertation here, but if you are really interested in my opinion, PM me on inthe00s.
Guy - January 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM Dec 2007) - What's next? "Mikey's got a gun"? or "I shot the Santa"? Guess you have some fodder for next season. This is really well written.
Invisible Boy - January 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I can tell you put in a lot of work here...well done
bobpiecheese - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The new reindeer names were absolutely priceless! Brilliant job, Mr. Squirrel!
stuart mcarthur - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) yeah, that's the problem with my marriage - my wife doesn't get itno her teddy enough.....great stuff Mikey and this could definitely replace the OS for a Xmastime round-the-fire family read - and also what bobpie said - 555
Phil Alexander - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Couldn't believe I hadn't commented already.. must have done on the performance/YouTube. Great twist to a nauseating original.
Kristof Robertson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) A little post-festive fun in Feb. LOVE the video (you clever rodent, you) T'riffic stuff. 555
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Mikey, I said something supportive at the recorded version, and I have to make sure you know just how amazing what you pulled off here really truly is. . .I don't know where this will finish. . .but this has to be one of, if not, your best parodies (Recorded, Written, or Videoed) to date.
Jack Wilson - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
AWESOME! Remidned me of that scene in Christmas Vacation a bit
Jeff Reuben - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Absolutely hilarious. The video was great as well.

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