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Song Parodies -> "I Know An Old Pervert Who French-Kissed A Frog"

Original Song Title:

"I Know An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly"

Original Performer:

Burl Ives

Parody Song Title:

"I Know An Old Pervert Who French-Kissed A Frog"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

The Lyrics

Jumping on what seems to be a bit of a bandwagon starting up... A slightly bowdlerized version of what I originally wrote...
I know an old pervert who french-kissed a frog
I'd rather not Fuh-rench kiss a frog
Too odd to snog


I know an old pervert who rogered a rabbit
He'd nab it, and grab it and then try to stab it
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
Isn't it odd to French kiss a frog
Odd bod to snog


I know an old pervert who diddled a duck
An unlucky rhyme, to diddle a duck
He diddled the duck, then rogered the rabbit
He'd nab it, and grab it and then try to stab it
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
Isn't it odd to French kiss a frog
No dog to snog


I know an old pervert canoodled a cat
What a prat! Canoodled a cat
He cuddled the cat, then diddled a duck
Wouldn't that suck? To diddle a duck
He diddled the duck, then rogered the rabbit
He'd nab it, and grab it and then try to stab it
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
What a catalogue - he French kissed a frog
Odd bod to snog


I know an old pervert who mounted a moose
Face going puce, he mounted a moose
He mounted the moose, then cuddled a cat
Cuckolded the cat and diddled a duck
Diddled the duck then rogered the rabbit
And odd sort of habit to roger a rabbit
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
One hell of a slog to fellate a frog
A slog to snog


I know an old pervert molested a mule
What kind of fool, molesting a mule
Molested a mule, then mounted a moose
He mounted the moose, then cuddled a cat
Cuckolded the cat and diddled a duck
Diddled the duck then rogered the rabbit
And odd sort of habit to roger a rabbit
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
He ran a a jog to French kiss a frog
A snog in smog



I know an old pervert who bothered a bear
I don't know where he bothered the bear
Be bothered the bear, mounted a moose
He mounted the moose, then cuddled a cat
He chucked the cat and diddled a duck
Diddled the duck then rogered the rabbit
And odd sort of habit to roger a rabbit
He rogered the rabbit then kissed the frog
Not a hedgehog, he French kissed a frog
We watch, agog


I know an old pervert who hammered a horse
Twelve years, of course...


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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Johnny D - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Not baaaaaaad, Pharmer Philbo, not baaaaaaad......555 ;-)
Red Ant - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Though funny throughout, perhaps the best line was you censoring yourself with "An unlucky rhyme...".
alvin rhodes - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
some people should not be allowed to run a farm....lol..5s
MasonR - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Brilliant! This brings to mind Tom Lehrer's comment about his friend Hen3ry (the 3 was silent): "He practiced animal husbandry...until they caught him at it one day."
Larry Hensley - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny parody, 555's
Agrimorfee - February 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Beastly humor...Spaff.worthy wit and Gilbert&Sullivan-worthy twist tonguers. 555

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