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Song Parodies -> "Yay, Vonn! (Olympic Skier Lindsey)"

Original Song Title:

"Rave On"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Buddy Holly

Parody Song Title:

"Yay, Vonn! (Olympic Skier Lindsey)"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

After Vonn's first competitive race, at age 6, her instructor turned to her father, Alan, and said, "Poor Alan. You have a turtle."
(TT here:) As a former ski instructor with a couple of NASTAR medals for myself and dozens for my students, I resemble that remark! Remember who won the race between the hare and the tortoise?

(NASTAR -- no relation to NASCAR -- is a way of letting recreational skiers run race courses on any participating mountain, and to earn gold, silver, or bronze medals by having their times compared to an expert racer's, handicapped for age, gender, and species.)

Video of original 45-rpm OS here.

Swe-e-ll! Lindsey swings: first woman to --
-- Bring gold to red, white, and blue [1]
Yay, Vonn! An amazin' feelin':
As you go a' downhill, reelin'
A bouquet: ... We love you, L. Vonn

Twin championships: '08, '09 [2]
No "G-spot" miss: away in flight [3]
Brave, Hon! Make your way, free-wheelin'
A fine show: top spot, you're sealin'
So, "Hurray" ... a-bove you: no one [4]

"Kildon", such a great beginning: [5]
Trofeo: you started winning [6]
And so rad: found your ideal in --
-- Pic-a-bo Street [7]

Crave fun: bike with Mancuso [8]
Well, she just couldn't do so
Felt, she: so awf'lly blue, so:
Train on, did she [9]

[interlude, as Lindsey trains citius, altius, fortius] [10]

Brave run: it was hazy seein' [11]
Best time: go, like Satan, fleein'
More gold, add: what awesome skiin'
We love to see!

Gave all, downhill, propel, she
Gate: fall; not feeling well, she [12]
Hell-bent; though pain, not slowly
Rave, Vonn, do we!



[1] First American woman ever to win Olympic Gold in the Downhill ski race.

[2] Also the first American woman to win back-to-back overall World Cup championships.

[3] Also *also*, the first American woman to win a World Cup championship in the "super-giant-slalom", universally shortened to "Super-G".

[4] Also also also ... bottom line: Most successful American woman skier in history.

[5] One of her nicknames, probably a portmanteau of her maiden name, Kildow, and husband's name, Vonn.

[6] In 1999, Vonn became the first American to win at Italy's Trofeo Topolino, an event for younger skiers, where she was victorious in slalom at age 15.

[7] Picabo Street was the first American woman to win World Cup downhill season titles, doing so in 1995 and 1996. Couple of Olympic Golds and a few other colors. A run at the Sun Valley, Idaho (US) ski resort was renamed "Picabo's Street". (they just couldn't leave the punny last name alone ;)
At age 10, Vonn met Street, and considered her a hero and role model. The meeting made enough of an impression on Street that she later became Vonn's mentor.

[8] Julia Mancuso, another not-too-bad US skier, who took Silver in the Olympic downhill behind Vonn's Gold, among other accomplishments.

[9] In her late teens, Vonn went for a bike ride with Julia and Julia's father, but found herself miles behind. A "wake-up" call to toughen the training, developing the tremendous leg strength and endurance needed for the sport.

[10] The Olympic motto, "Citius, Altius, Fortius", Latin for "Faster, Higher, Stronger"

[11] For *any* skier, racer or not, the glare from brightly sunlit snow is handled by dark-tinted goggles. In shady or foggy conditions, yellow goggles can increase contrast, making it easier to see variations in the terrain, snow, and surface. The most challenging is when conditions change repeatedly during a single run, as was the case on the Olympic course, which had brightly-lit sections and shady ones, plus some fog at times.

[12] Had an "excruciating" painfully-bruised right shin even before the Olympics started, from a training run in Austria. Got a slight break (not to the bone; no pun intended) when adverse weather and snow conditions delayed many events a few days, but if you saw the winning run, she was favoring the right leg and ski -- the G-forces in turns at those speeds are tremendous -- and she actually came across the finish line standing on her left ski only, with the right one lifted slightly in the air to get the weight off of it and ease the pain.

Typically-stupid announcer comment: "That's incredibly difficult, skiing (straight to the finish line) on one ski at those speeds!"
No, it isn't. Like a bicycle, speed makes it easier to balance on one ski in a straight run, although you can do it standing still, too (not on a bicycle.) ... and turns have almost all weight on the outside ski, so it's a constant progression of shifting from one ski to the other.

Vonn did at least one hard left turn with much of the weight on the left (inside) ski, sacrificing the leverage of the outside ski because of the pain. But as for the announcer: Six-year-olds in TT's never-ever (beginner) classes were taught to lift one ski off the ground and go downhill on the other, as a balance maneuver.

US Army saying: "Do *something*, even if it's wrong."
TV announcers' saying: "Say *something*, even if it's wrong."

© 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail: tomm...@yahoo.com

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Pacing: 5.0
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Total Votes: 4

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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
And....in her case, slow and steady DOES lose the race! LOL!!!
Old Man Ribber - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Lindsey Vonn will leave big schuss to fill! A gold medal in the 555 meter downhill! ;D
It's_All_Downhill_After_Forty... - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I'll skip right past the 'Super-G spot' jokes and zoom by the obsessive 'waxing of the shell' jibes right on to hand your due--*fives* for a fine tribute (votes calculated to within a 1000th of a IN (international nuance) by Omega atomic clocks--"Cesium The Moment with Omega!™"
Christie Marie M - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Great tribute to Vonn! Swiftest skier around! Ditto to both comments above! You've earned 555 gold medals with this one!
Phil Nelson - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Another champion parody
Fiddlegirl - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
"Golden" thanks to Mark Scotti, OMR, Downhill Forty, CMM, and Phil Nelson!
Tommy Turtle - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Yeah, that fable doesn't work too well in Downhill, does it? Thanks for v/c!

Old Man Ribber: ROFLMAO! (don't think FG is a skier.) Thanks for v/c!

It's_All_Downhill_After_Forty... And *I'll* skip past the negative intro to give Gold to "Cesium the Moment! LOL!
...FWIW, the shell-waxing was there only to show that there was some authority behind the critique of the announcer's stupidity, and of the *terrible* thing her childhood instructor said. Throw away a whole career at age 6, and put that kind of negative expectations on a young child? .... Sorry if it came out as self-back-patting: *Many* instructors use the one-ski balance maneuver and use the NASTAR course for improving the technique of any intermediate skier of any age. Not placing self as unique there -- and only the *worst* ones emit the kind of negativity like Vonn's childhood coach did. Thanks for v/c.

Christie Marie M: (Stands once again for National Anthem) Our humble thanks to one of the nicest "judges" around!

Phil Nelson, thanks.

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